Posted by Sometimes it can seem like not a year goes by without the number of people on Earth who are younger than us growing. As sickening as it might be, we have to accept that there may be upwards of one person reading this website who isn’t old enough to remember Darren Lehmann’s playing career.
Fortunately, one of the great things about writing a cricket website year after year to no discernible effect is that you end up with a stockpile of existing material to which you can refer at times like this.
We always thought Darren Lehmann was magic as a cricketer. Sometimes this led to weird, overly-enthusiastic bits of writing, like this thing we wrote after we had a dream about him.
At other times, we have tried to make sense. Here’s what we wrote when he was about to retire. Because of when it was written, that post omits the fact that in addition to scoring a triple hundred in his final match for Yorkshire, he also made a hundred in a record run-chase in his final one-day innings for South Australia before making another hundred in his final first-class match for them.
Other Darren Lehmann facts include that he once did some racism and that his nickname is ‘Boof’. If you’re wondering as to the origins of this nickname, it’s due to his uncanny resemblance to cult actress and Nineties video game TV programme presenter, Emily ‘Bouff’ Booth.
In the passed Mr. Kimber’s English let him down occasionally. Or did it?
Preferred his brother in law.
way to collapse, somerset. 300-odd for 2 becomes 310 for 9? 320 all out??
do wot?
about the only positive for england fans in that last session is the fact that siddle finished with no wickets and dodgy figures, but will he be a first-team pick now anyway?
Never liked him. Too Australian. That used to mean something you know.
My goodness, Darren Boof Lehmann’s resemblance to Emily ‘Bouff’ Booth is absolutely uncanny.
And who’d have thought that the Boof Lehmann racist outburst opened the door for Pup Clarke?
Funny game, cricket.
I can’t defend his racism but I will point out that having grown up in Adelaide a few years after Boof our idea of multiculturalism was “there’s a few Greeks and Italians that live in the southern suburbs and some Germans living in the hills”.
Boof also had the courage to offer to be dropped when he was in poor form. Compare that to the less than glorious exit of Ricky Ponting and you see what he has to offer the team.
Good spot, Ged. Who will benefit from an Australian batsman’s next mis-step? Maybe Shane Watson will call Ian Bell a weasel-faced arse and be replaced with some young buck who will then go on to become captain.
That’s an excellent game, Sam, one of the best yet. I think Brad Haddin will call Matt Prior a baldy tosser, and Usman Khawaja will call Steven Finn a knob. From the English side, Joe Root will call Shane Watson a total like dickhead and that.
I’d say Boof’s problems can be summed up by the less than worldly nature of his players’ Twitter feeds.
Exhibit A, one D.Warner on the 10th of June: “How good are TURTLES!!”
Note the bizarre capitalisation.
To be fair I thought Warner had a good point. Turtles are a good animal. It beats all the usual stuff about loving the poorly sized green hat.
On the offchance that someone missed it, we covered the turtle tweet here: http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/content/story/643633.html?CMP=OTC-RSS
And on that subject, we’ve also done eight reasons why Australia will win the Ashes. It’s a guide to help England fans play to their strengths.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/content/story/645411.html
Ace. And thank you, it’s just what I needed. I’ve forwarded it to my opponent in our regular Ashes bet (12 bottles of wine), so things are now nicely as they should be – him flicking through a wine catalogue to pick some nice ones for himself, me checking my bank account.
I am afraid Bert is not taking this in the same spirit Front-foot-Lunge did.
good article, king. i don’t think front-foot-lunge understood it, but then he is clearly a bridge-dweller and seems to have been brought into existence purely to counterbalance the “contributions” of randyoz and jonesy2
Lord above. How much more obvious could it be?
The answer, of course, is none… None more obvious.
I’m with frunt-foot-lounge on this one. I found your article a little unclear, KC.
If those are meant to be jokes, perhaps you could explain each joke in excruciating detail. Then, if the jokes are adjudged funny, readers will be able to laugh.
Perhaps you should consider co-writing with Boof Lehmann next time. By all accounts he is an excellent communicator.
This is why they put laugh tracks on sitcoms – so that people know when to laugh.
I am intrigued by randyoz, jonesy lunge and the like. Sometimes I think they should be taken at face value, as the middle aged, drunk string-vested virgins they purport to be. Other times their bigotry is just so astute that I think there must be a Ricky Gervais like mind behind these creations. I will confess I used to troll the letters page of the Dubai 7 Days newspaper myself in my younger day as an indignant Indian called Babu, with occasionally pleasing results. But then other times I am foxed.FFL’s post today was not the work of a sharp provocateur, but no-one can really be that dim can they?
Am I missing something? The only comments I can see on the article are by some chaps named Khajuria and Egok…
You are missing something that has been removed. There were a few other comments earlier and they have since been removed. I don’t know why.
Clearly the removal of those comments has shaken you to the very core or you wouldn’t go around using those first person singulars…..
Let’s not mince our words. Several comments on KC’s article have been stolen.
Motives?
Consequences?
Suspects?
We need answers.
Lehmann has seemed useful in the IPL, and in any case he will never be as bad a coach as Mickey Arthur was on the India tour… More on that on my blog if you’re interested – How Arthur took the Mickey out of Australia
Ah, right. Sorry. I thought they said ‘Poof’.
On a completely different note, Craig Kieswetter things this is a brilliant snack:
https://twitter.com/kiesy_22/status/350340517256642560/photo/1
Biltong IS a brilliant snack. Pretty sure we’ve written about it at some point but can’t be arsed finding the post in question.
I had no idea what that was till I looked it up and found it’s South African jerky, basically. Well I am vegetarian so either way……
Well, we all know that the England dressing room gets a bit stroppy if they run out of biltong. And if rain interferes with the annual team braai.
Yes, this was just another lame joke about Saffas in the England side . . .
I’d much rather Bouff had somehow managed to become Aussie manager, much like the plot of a weak “comedy” movie. A friend of mine managed to appear on an episode of Bits once.
see, i don’t like the look of this one little bit… http://www.espncricinfo.com/the-ashes-2013/content/current/story/645521.html
bring back mickey arthur :-S
Before read your post i was unaware about this Australian batsman “Darren Lehmann”. After read this post i get knowledge about him. There is no doubt that Australian domestic cricket is very strong therefore they always introduce great players.