Which of India’s batsmen are ‘due’?

1. Shikhar Dhawan was India’s top run scorer before this match…

   …and I notice that he’s already out.

   Case proven, yer maj.

2. Kohli is definitely due…

   …oh.

3. Jadeja!!!!
   & to a lesser extent Dhoni!!!!!

   1. India are already lost if they are in a situation where they need Jadeja to save them

   2. Are you your own voice of reason?

   3. hmmm, India are out of their comfort zone, here, in Australia and have been mostly playing a defensive WorldCup whereas Australia have too much firepower for their conditions and are trying to aggressively snatch the cup out of India’s hands.

   4. It’s a more aggressive brand of cricket.
      I myself am looking for a more aggressive brand of ketchup, one which will shake itself out of the bottle.

   5. Also, I fear that Warner is now due – perhaps some runs, perhaps to open his gob and say something stupid. Possibly both in the same match.

4. I’m imagining a lot of tears cascading down the paper version of your report, KC. If paper newspapers are still a thing any more.

   1. Paper newspapers? What are they?

      Must be something from Bert’s generation.

   2. Are they the greaseproof things that are printed with 1960s news reports for use in gastro pub chip containers?

   3. The 1960s? What are they?

   4. It’s a type of fashion. Kind of like ‘retro’ or a close cousin to ‘vintage’.

   5. They’re an alternate reality where England is infested by beetles.

   6. Some of us were living the dream in the summer of love…

      https://www.flickr.com/photos/ianlharris/8493757449/in/set-72157632821336046

   7. This isn’t my reply to you, Sam, this is just an announcement of it. The actual reply has been written on a sheet of foolscap, complete with all those address things we were taught to put at the top, and a Yours Faithfully at the end (on account of the letter having your name at the top). I have posted it to you. The fight back starts here.

   8. Dear Bert

      Do you mean foolscap folio or foolscap quarto paper? I’m guessing you mean foolscap folio, as that size was usually referred to as “foolscap” for short, whereas foolscap quarto paper was usually referred to as “quarto” for short.

      Personally, I ran out of foolscap folio paper some thirty years ago, but I do still have a reasonable stock of foolscap quarto paper.

      Your letter should read, “Yours sincerely” in the conclusion, not “Yours faithfully”, on account of Sam being addressed by name.

      Sincerely yours

      Ged

   9. My god, you’re right Ged. I have written a letter of apology to you and Sam. I have also written to the GPO to see if they can intercept my original letter before it gets delivered, but I fear this is a fruitless exercise.

      Actually, I’m worried now that they will waste their valuable time trying to undo what has already been done. I don’t want that. I will write to them to tell them to ignore my letter.

5. I’m older than Bert

   1. Nonsense. Bert is older than most men born after him.

   2. And some before him. Due to a glitch in the childbirth-keeping-log-books with times of birth written down with a fountain pen in the right hand column.

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