Posted by Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk
Sam writes:
We arranged to meet for an after work drink and watch the third day of the re-arranged test at the ARG at a pub somewhere in north Surrey.
I drove from my office to my friend’s office. I turned off the A3 too early but eventually found my way to Waitrose, where I took advantage of their two hours free parking.
I entered my friend’s office, whereupon all of his work colleagues promptly left. I put this down to coincidence.
He had a foam rugby ball and two plastic pigeons on his desk.
We looked at the score on Cricinfo and decided it was almost tea.
We then found a pub that was showing the match on a plasma screen without commentary. The pub had uncomfortably high seats and we were sat at such an angle that we couldn’t see the TV very well.
My friend had three pints of ale and I had three halves of Coke, as I was driving. We discussed what he should do about a girl who keeps asking him to go to the ice hockey with her, but he doesn’t really like her.
When England declared we took separate trips to the toilet and then watched two overs of the West Indies innings before heading off.
I drove my friend home and then got lost on the way back, listening to TMS on the radio.
This is a real contender of best match report EVAH!
Good job Sam, the mundanity of it, is breathtaking.
What was your advice about the girl? Does your mate even like ice hockey? I am keen to know.
Did she want to see the Streatham Redskins?
They got one of the guys at work in trouble once
Why is a ice hockey match report on a cricket website?
D Charlton – I told him to tell her he doesn’t like her. Honesty is the best policy.
Dada – Guildford Flames. Streatham Redskins sound much more exciting though.
Whit – I don’t know. Good question.
Sam, he could have said “I’m just not that into , um, ice hockey”. She’ll get the message. Alternatively, forward her a link to this report.
Maybe one day I might set up a pub that prioritises cricket above whatever other sport might be on, and shows everything that can be broadcast in this country. I’ll put the sound on, have comfy chairs, serve appropriate snacks depending on who is playing, have internet access for people to settle disputes of fact, and have my library of Wisdens available (in plastic covers).
Will you have real ale, Mims? If so, I’ll be there. Especially if you have some traditional busty wenches behind the bar, who can discuss the finer points of the game while serving you a foamy beverage.
Mine’s a pint of Nightwatchman. ‘Oggy ‘oggy ‘oggy!
I’m with you, Mahinda. Cricket, comfy chairs, ale and buxom wenches – what more could one wish for from a pub?
This report seems to have an uncomfortably high cricket content.
Is that supposed to be a counterpoint for the uncomfortably high bar stools?
Very arty.
Mims, that is an amazing pub idea. Make it happen. For the love of Hog, make it happen.
DC, maybe when I retire or when the credit crunch is over, whichever comes sooner (y, y, retirement, I know). I’d need to consult with KC readers, such as Sam who inspired the idea, to get it perfect.
Mahinda, it would of course serve real ales, plus a selection of beers from cricketing nations. Buxom wenches are not promised. This isn’t Hooters, you know.
Boo. Rubbish. Enough of this. Who’s coming to Hooters with us?
No? Nobody?
[Slinks back into the Cricketers’ Arms and orders a pint of Timothy Taylor Landlord.]