Posted by There’s basically nothing left as an England fan other than to become a connoisseur of missed catches. Keaton Jennings failing to make meaningful use of his own hands when Virat Kohli edged the ball to him on 93 was one of the greatest misses we’ve ever seen.
There are three main reasons why. We’ll expand on these in a second.
- Because Jimmy Anderson was bowling
- Because of where the ball was going
- Because of what the ball made contact with
Because Jimmy Anderson was bowling
The context is key. Jimmy Anderson has been bowling brilliantly this summer and while he’s been rewarded with plenty of wickets, he’s also been repeatedly slapped in the metaphorical face by countless drops. (He’s been hit in the literal face by his own golf ball too, but that’s wholly unrelated.)
Jimmy has been particularly keen to dismiss Virat Kohli and has beaten or found the edge of the India captain’s bat – ooh, it’s hard to say exactly, but it must be somewhere around 6,000 times.
Precisely none of these deliveries have resulted in a dismissal.
This is why when he again found the edge and the ball again went straight at a fielder and it again didn’t result in a dismissal, Jimmy did this.
While he was still doing this – still bent over, head in hands – he suddenly went all tense and his whole body shook as he unleashed a bestial roar.
This is a 100 per cent correct reaction and Jimmy has our every sympathy.
Because of where the ball was going
On first viewing we reckoned that Keaton Jennings would have needed to move his hands by about three inches to have successfully taken the catch. We were wrong.
Look at this.
And then look at this.
There are no deflections there. Virat Kohli edged the ball directly at Keaton Jennings’ cupped hands. Had Joe Root been armed with a blowpipe and shot a paralysis dart into his opener’s neck to instantly freeze him, there is a reasonable chance the catch would have been taken.
However, this is not what happened. What happened in reality is far more entertaining. What happened was that Keaton Jennings ducked his hands down a few inches to actively evade the ball.
(Look, this all happened in a billionth of a second and we know that the poor guy’s got to instantly pick up trajectory, speed and angle and honestly, in many ways it’s a miracle any catch is taken, but there is still something fundamentally hilarious about a bad-catching side failing to take a catch because one of the fielders moved his hands out of the way of the ball.)
Because of what the ball made contact with
The ball made contact with absolutely nothing. Look at those images above and try and envisage a scenario where ball doesn’t strike hand, arm, knee or testicle.
It’s almost impossible, isn’t it? But this is what happened next.
It was as if Jennings were some kind of formless sprite, unable to interact with solid objects within this earthly realm.
The ball approached and then it just continued on its way at exactly the same speed having passed directly through him.
Summary
We saw a thing the other day where they said that in terms of accuracy, bowling a couple of feet fuller or shorter is like the difference between a darts player hitting the top or bottom of the bullseye.
Darts players release their projectile from in front of their eyes having adopted a firm, stationary position. Jimmy Anderson releases the ball from some way above his head, having sprinted in and done a weird twisting jump; he does it with fingertip precision so that the ball swings; and he does it time and time and time again, even when he’s absolutely knackered.
Most of the time nothing whatsoever comes of this effort – but sometimes it does. Sometimes the ball catches the edge of the bat, travels in the air and in the direction of a fielder.
At this point, Jimmy Anderson has done all he can. The outcome of this delivery is now wholly down to someone else’s involvement and he just has to hope that they catch it.
Imagine that the above happens. Imagine that the umpire signals four runs.
Take another look at Jimmy Anderson screaming into his palms.
Wonder how many runs difference it makes on your bowling average to be in a top-class vs pits-class fielding side.
Here we go again folks!
When I saw it yesterday, I couldn’t put into words how bad it was. I’m glad somebody else has been able to do so with aplomb.
Given that England’s top four are nominally selected as batsmen, but can neither bat not catch, would it be worth selecting them purely on their fielding ability? It surely couldn’t be any worse?
This might be how they ended up with three wicketkeepers in the side. Doesn’t seem to have achieved anything.
It might have, if they were all allowed to wear ‘keepers gloves.
I bought my girlfriend some goalie gloves for her birthday.
They weren’t appreciated; she has no interest in sport.
What an anecdote. Top work from you, Mike.
First bestial roar on this website in a while (I think), long overdue.
I like it because previously he dived at one in the gulley, I think, off Broad and totally messed it up. Broad stared at him in disbelief and then turned round and seemingly muttered: “How did he drop that”?
But he went one better with the Jimmy effort.
It was almost as if Broad’s reaction had hurt him so much that he deigned to get his hands anywhere near the ball this time round. There — no drop, this time! Just a total miss! No “how did he drop that” comment this time round!
Just the greatest howl of anguish since John Lennon was going through his primal therapy phase.
Later Jennings dived and stopped one and looked quite pleased with himself. But too late my friend, too late.
I must say, you’re taking it very well, Jimmy.
It’s on. You heard it here first.
Oh dear. I’ve got my days mixed up. I’ve been checking the score all day thinking it was day five and that England had no chance. Now that I’ve realised it’s only day four things look even bleaker.
There once was a fellow called Keaton
Who often found himself beaten
by a ball nicked to slip
Which would speed past his grip
And Jimmy’s mood fail to sweeten.
It’s definitely on now. India must be quaking in their gloves. All that needs to happen is that Anderson farms the strike. He’s batted with one wicket to fall more than anyone else in this England team, so he is the man with the experience to bring it home.
England should see how they’re doing at lunch, then decide whether to go for it or just shut up shop and get the draw.
Keaton Jennings
Triggered derogatory pennings
For his magnificent drop –
Could he be given the chop?
Alastair Cook
Plays by the book,
But I’ve the sneaking suspicion
He’s not reading a good’un.
A fellow called Alastair Cook
Could not score ere by hook or by crook
With Ishant on fire
And his forward defence quite dire
He blamed it on the guard that he took.