Twitter coverage of day one of the Ashes

1. I didn’t know I could anticipate the start of The Ashes any more keenly, KC, but you just upped my excitement levels to near feverish.

   I may need to lie down.

2. Its always exciting to see the clash of tita….er, Nos. 4 & 5.

3. I intend to stay up drinking apple vodka from the bottle in order to watch the entire first day’s play, then fall asleep on the couch after 20 minutes to be woken by a cat licking my face just in time to watch the last hour of the day.

   I will then iron a shirt

4. Top supportin’, Tight_but_Loose

5. I’m sitting in a hotel room in Graiguenamanagh, County Kilkenny, eating cake and crisps.
   And hoping that they don’t turn the wifi off at midnight as I’m relying on t’internet coverage for this one….

6. I’ve only gone and found a ruddy spare duvet! Yes it’s Summer weight, but beggars can’t be chosers

7. Have you also found the designated face-licking cat?

8. Why does Mitchell Johnson look like Freddie all of a sudden?

   (That’s Mercury, not Flintoff).

9. This is my fault! I’ve run out of apple vodka and Strauss slaps it down Hussey’s throat. I’m sickened

10. And don’t worry about the cat JF, he doesn’t need to start face licking til 4am. I’m more worried about the fact I already want to turn off the TV and pretend the Ashes start tomorrow

11. Have you scoured the back of the drinks cupboard for the dodgy bottle of “novelty” spirits that some-one brought back off their hols?
    That should do the trick – Trott may get a century on the back of your hangover from that.

12. Ged, can you do some sort of probabillity diagram (maybe Venn but not necessarily) which links Tight’s choice of alcohol intake to the number of wickets that England lose in the first session?

13. I have cheap whisky, something that could quite posibly be Midori, Kahlua (or however you spell it), cooking brandy, a very nice bourbon (that would be hugely wasted in this situation) and some vanilla vodka. That’s a hell of a Venn diagram

14. Midori.
    That and the apple vodka will give you one hell of a hangover, but at least it will be 2 of your 5 a day.
    But like your thinking on the complexity of the Venn diagram.
    Either Ged’s giving it a good long thought, or he’s gone to bed after the near loss of our second wicket.

15. I can’t believe we have made it to double figures. Mind you I can’t believe I am up drinking at 12.30. On a school night man! A school night!

16. Did you not have the foresight to plan maternity/paternity leave like Smudge?
    And is that “school” as in work, or really school ( in which case I will have to tell your mum that you’re drinking her drinks cabinet dry in a forlorn hope that England may make it to 3 figures)

17. Alas I am in my thirties so it is proper work – but in all fairness it is still a good idea to tell my mum that I have descended to drinking meths in a bid to help England retain the Ashes. And because it’s cheap

18. The Mitchell/Mercury hybrid really does just wang it down there doesn’t he? I’ve got a lot of time for that type of attitude

19. I think it’s just you and me now TBL.
    Everyone else has realised that it’s past their bedtime (and that doesn’t mean bedding down on the sofa with the second best duvet) and done the sensible thing.
    Can’t comment on the hybrid wangyness – I’m on TMS … oh yes, another one down the leg side.

20. Good News – The face licking cat is in situe
    Bad News – My internet and Sky have gone down
    Good News – I have a blackberry
    Bad news – I am far too drunk to see such a small screen
    Good News – I’m drunk

21. A blackberry – that makes 3 of your 5 a day.
    The bad news – Trotts gone
    The bad news – Pietersen is looking a bit frisky

22. You know we really should use this time to construct the ultimate alcoholic five a day…

    Cognac, Grappa, Gin (well it has berries in it), Calvados, Slivovitz….Pear Cider….

23. And then Ged could create a five ringed Venn diagram illustrating it…
    Here’s mine – more “fruity” , and well, more Essex.

    Midori
    Malibu
    Kaluha
    Cassis
    Gran Marnier

    Float that in a glass!

24. I can see that curdling before my eyes…

25. Good News – Sky is back!
    Bad News – general economic malaise

26. Globally or just locally to your sofa?
    Have a feel down the back – there’s bound to be a few coins down there.

    Good news – no loss of wicket in the last half hour – and only 15 mins to lunch.
    Michael Vaughan reckons we have to get to 400 (hopefully not before tea)

27. Well I did buy this sofa on credit so there is a real chance of a default unless the EU lend my 18bn. Or I could just man up and accept the sofa is now worth less than when I bought it??

    I’m very pleased that Sky has returned in time for me to see Xavier bowl. I’m really glad that he just dropped Cook as well!

28. JF it has been a ruddy pleasure
    Ged you have a heck of a lot of diagrams to get working on today
    TBL go to bed you damned fool

29. Sorry TBL, I’m flaking out on you here.
    More drink and cat based discussions tomorrow night?

30. Speckled Hen and Bombay mix.

    None of my five a day.

31. When Simon Hughes says ‘Doherty’ it sounds like he’s saying ‘dirty’

32. The obvious solution is to live in Australia. It’s the middle of the afternoon here.

33. Cook out as I speak. Prior out as I type. Come on Poms, put up a fight.

34. Now a hattrick. Bugger me. stay asleep guys

35. http://v4admin.sportnetwork.net/upload/66/66_0_1290672279.jpg

36. It’s uncanny Ged, uncanny. Although we are a Vanish Spray household

37. Fuck you. ‘sudden’ obsession with naps. I’ve been napping for years.

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