Posted by Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk. We’re only interested in what it was like to be at the game, so if it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. Equally, if it’s an amateur match, please go into excruciating detail.
William went to England v South Africa at the Oval on Sunday July 22, 2012.
Not directly related to this – but alluded to in the piece – William says he sat next to Mike Atherton and really annoyed him once.
William writes:
My mate (well, business acquaintance) Anthony had muddled up days and wondered if I wanted his overpriced ticket (original cost £300) for £50 to go to the Oval on a Sunday with HIS rugby mates.
My family was away somewhere, so I had no help dressing to meet my new friends and ended up wearing double denim, with a nice white T-shirt, desert boots and a couple of other things that did not match.
Meeting was outside Oval tube and they spotted me a mile off.
We had a lovely day on account of unlimited food and drink (hence overpriced ticket). There was huge excitement in the afternoon and the crowd stood and cheered.
Bradley Wiggins had won the Tour de France which made the whole occasion so much happier.
I saw David Gower and given I have a habit of annoying people (particularly former England captains) I spoke to him for a while.
We have so much in common. I bowl leg breaks, my brother went to school with him, I nearly went to Kings Canterbury, I watched his debut batting live etc etc.
After chatting for a while I suggested that perhaps I had taken too much of his time. He agreed.
I thought my new rugby friends would be up for a few more at close of play, but Alan needed taking home.
By my reckoning if you spend £50 buying something worth £300, you’ve made a £250 profit. This excellent match report could be further enhanced by a description of whatever exciting thing that £250 was spent on, since it doesn’t seem to have been the “few more after the close of play”.
It’s possible Ged may need to correct me on the economics here.
If it is something you want and would have spent £300 on anyway, for sure you are £250 up on the deal.
If it is something you don’t want but you felt compelled to say yes to your friend to avoid causing offence or whatever, then you are £50 down.
If your feelings about the matter are somewhere between the above positions… (continues for 20-30 pages, ideally with some graphs and at least three equations for credibility’s sake).
That’s excellent Ged, I think I’m getting the hang of this now. I’ll buy it for £50 then sell it to myself for £300. Foolproof.
Excellent thinking Bail-out.
You’ve just made a positive contribution to GDP without even getting off your arse.
Foolproof.
Don’t forget to pay over the tax on the profits.
With the exception of lack of culinary details, that is perhaps the best match report yet. Wonderful stuff.
I hope Alan got home OK.
We’re all worried about Alan.
It’s nearly eight years ago, if he isn’t home by now …
It was worth about £50. The food was a bit too good, loads of lentil and beetroot salads With feta. Could have done with a bacon sandwich. Oddly I would have rather paid more and for my food. But you can’t waste free food whatever it tastes like.
I hadn’t thought about Alan till I read this, I never saw any of them again. He was with three of his best friends and I wasn’t called to an inquest or anything so I assume he survived.
Ah, “you can’t waste free food whatever it tastes like.” A fact we are all ever so ingloriously well-acquainted with. If only there were a one penny charge per plate to give us a get-out-clause deterrent!
I’n not sure that was Alan, I think it was Steve.