There’s a King Cricket County Championship fantasy league after all

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As with so many things, we sort of half-floated the idea with no real enthusiasm and then someone else went ahead and sorted it out.

Mike has set up The King Cricket CBA Cup within The Telegraph’s county fantasy league thing. CBA stands for ‘can’t be arsed’ to reflect the spectacular levels of enthusiasm underpinning the venture.

You’re all welcome – even those of you who are cricket journalists. We know as well as anyone that such an occupation will provide no advantage.

You can find the league by picking a team, paying EIGHT JEFFING QUID and then going to ‘my leagues’ whereupon you can search for ‘King Cricket CBA Cup’. The PIN to gain access is then 8124380.

If we were to set rules for this league, we’d say ‘no transfers’. You just pick your side and then fate has its say.

However, you’re paying EIGHT JEFFING QUID, so do what you want. We daresay no-one will have strong enough feelings to rigorously enforce the ‘no meddling’ law. In fact it remains to be seen just how many people can muster strong enough feelings to part with EIGHT JEFFING QUID in the first place.

The deadline for entry is 11am on Friday. Sorry if that’s relatively short notice. Sorry also that it’s The Telegraph. And sorry yet again that it costs EIGHT JEFFING QUID.

Of course there aren’t any prizes. Don’t even ask.

Update: You can also get three teams for FIFTEEN JEFFING QUID if you happen to be a billionaire.

OH NO!

Roelof van der Merwe just heard you haven't yet signed up for the King Cricket email...

...so he's on his way to see you!

30 comments

  1. Eight quid? Sorry, I’ll stick with a bottle of scotsmac, and another night on the bench in the park.

  2. Is there a special reason why this one is paid?

    I’m genuinely interested in the thinking behind ‘let’s offer basically the same thing as people usually get for free, but charge them for it.’

    1. People think if you pay for something it must be better. There was some sort of experiment where they gave away free bottles of water to runners in a park and no-one took them because thet thought they’d get poisoned. Did the same thinj charhing 50p and sold loads.

      Short version: people are idiots.

      1. I’ve joined anyway, therefore calling myself an idiot. Looks like it’s going to be a busy summer for Tim Bresnan, as he’s been selected in three teams out of four.

      2. That’s the spirit. Maybe it should have been called The Faint Self-Loathing Trophy.

    2. Dunno, but no-one suggested a free one to us.

      You’ve all cost us EIGHT JEFFING QUID with your silence, you bunch of withholders, you.

      1. Must be a northern thing

        All our houses cost tuppence ‘apeney so have shedloads of disposable income to squander on shit like this…

  3. Maybe I’ve misunderstood this Fantasy Cricket thing, but Susanna Hoffs doesn’t seem to be available for selection. This is rubbish – what kind of fantasies do these people have?

  4. Please, please, please will you make links open in a new tab. I’ve been meaning to request this for years.

    1. Indeed, all Ogblog links open in a new tab. It’s almost a religion thing for me.

      I would have been meaning to request this for years, but, unlike Hoopy, I am far to busy to mean to do things, let alone actually get round to doing them.

      Thanks, Hoopy. You are a star. Top effort.

      1. Both as far as I know.

        When you place the link, you click the little “settings” symbol (legend: link options) and then tick the box which says “open link in a new tab”.

        For sure works on computer and Apple. I’m pretty sure Android too.

        I have not found a way to make it the default setting, which would make my life easier because Ogblog is “links central”.

        This might be my geekiest ever posting on King Cricket…

        …so far.

      2. We didn’t mean how do you do it. We meant which device was being used.

        Not sure it’s considered best practice and the user does of course have the option of opening any link in a new tab themselves if they want.

      3. Anyone who doesn’t want links to open in a new tab is Satan’s spawn. You really think I enjoy pressing the Command button before clicking on a damn link? Do you? Do you? If I wanted exercise, I’ll go somewhere else thankyouverymuch.

        Hoopy speaks for the masses.

      4. DC, if you click the scroll wheel on the mouse it automatically opens a link in a new tab.

        Been the default for me for long enough that I have no idea which websites open links in new tabs or not.

      5. Interesting, Ged. By which I mean the previous link works fine from a work computer but the last one is filtered on account of it linking to a ‘personal site’ (that’s a vast category to block right there – just imagining what an Internet site categorisation Venn would look like…) despite both appearing to be for the same domain. What’s particularly personal about the last link?

    2. Not sure what the problem might be, Mike. Perhaps the little bit of HTML code that tries to open a new window offends your work security systems. If that’s the only problem, try the following link which is plain.

      But more likely it is the second photograph I have used on Rohan’s piece, which shows Rohan wearing his “How I Said ‘F*** You’ To The Company When They Tried to Make Me Redundant” jacket.

      http://ianlouisharris.com/2017/04/05/rohan-candappa-guest-piece-teenage-parties-coming-around-full-circle-5-april-2017/

  5. Just signed up, but who’s this Michael Field monopolising the league? Harrumph.

    1. We’re all joint first at present, Balladeer.

      Working out, and then trying to remember, who is who (whom?) from here is going to be the most challenging part of this.

      Are you Alan Hempton?

      1. I’m Alan Hempton and so’s my wife.

        (Nah, I’m the manager of the Sixophonists. Music reference and that.)

      2. Very good. Alan Hempton must be Alphamonkey, Al and al that.

        Quite a few of my ‘players’ are not playing, and that’s after I deliberately tried to pick those from teams who actually had matches this week. No Jake Ball for starters… Jimmy’s in though!

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