There is one bit of terrifically good news if Ben Stokes can’t play the first Test against Sri Lanka

3 minute read

At the time of writing, it looks like Ben Stokes’ left leg needs to be re-hamstrung after a twanging incident while running a single for Northern Superchargers earlier in the week. (Would the same thing have happened had he been playing for Northern Gentle Amblers? We can never know.) This means that after all of three matches with a functioning all-rounder, England are again asking that trite old question: ‘How do we balance the side?’ Having given the matter some thought, we know precisely how they’ll do it. Not only that, but we heartily endorse the option they will definitely, definitely, beyond any shadow of a doubt, take.

Let’s start at the start though. How do you replace Ben Stokes?

In terms of captaincy, that’s an easy one – you ask Ollie Pope to do the job. We had no great enthusiasm for this until we discovered that Pope averages 274 in first-class cricket when playing as captain. If nothing else, that’s handy.

But how do you replace Ben Stokes, the guy who bowls a bunch of useful overs, allowing you to keep your frontline quick bowlers that bit fresher? That one’s a little harder.

Option 1: Replace Stokes with a bowler; have a bit of a crap batting line-up

You may have seen that Chris Woakes has been pulled from some Hundred games and there’s a popular notion that this is because he has now become England’s all-rounder.

This is not true. You do not want Chris Woakes batting at number seven. Not really.

We’ve been here before. Many times. People routinely make this mistake because there is of course a part of the Venn diagram where Stokes (a middle-order batter with a penchant for extraordinary innings who sometimes bowls 12-over spells of reverse swing) and Woakes (an opening bowler with an impossibly smooth action who once hit a Test hundred) boast that same label of ‘all-rounder’.

Woakes is an excellent cricketer, but he simply does not do the same job as Stokes. This should be pretty obvious because he’s been in England’s Test team, playing alongside Stokes, anyway.

Option 2: Replace Stokes with an all-rounder

Who, exactly? Sam Curran? Liam Dawson? Moeen Ali again? Never say never, but it’s not immediately obvious to us where you’re going with this one.

Option 3: Replace Stokes with a batter, muddle through the bowling with some part-timers

Obviously it’s this one. It’s always this one. The only question really is the exact nature of the muddling-through.

Looking at England’s last Test, this option would result in a four-man attack of Woakes, Gus Atkinson, Mark Wood and Shoaib Bashir. No-one wants Mark Wood to bowl that much, so our gaze immediately shifts to the part-timers.

Joe Root heads this list, but wait a minute… there’s something else.

Stokes is not the only England player who will (most likely) miss the first Test against Sri Lanka. Zak Crawley’s out too with a broken finger. Crawley will be replaced by Dan Lawrence.

You know what we’re thinking, right?

We’re thinking about Dan Lawrence’s demented bowling action, of course!

This isn’t even an outside hope, you know. This is a thing that will definitely happen.

Dan Lawrence is in the team. Dan Lawrence has been Surrey’s all-rounder in the Championship this year.

This is too easy and obvious not to do.

That means England’s two main part-time options will be Lawrence and Root – both spinners. This is bad news for Bashir, who will be omitted so that they can retain four seamers in the attack, but it’s great news for fans of sideways-golden-eagle-wing-flap, ball-dragging, groin-jabbing, armpit-flapping bowling actions (which is surely everyone).

Dan Lawrence is England’s all-rounder. Let the first Test commence!

> The three best parts of Dan Lawrence’s bowling action in escalating order of greatness

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