Pakistan / West Indies

The riddle of Kraigg Brathwaite’s extra G

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Maybe one day someone will be able to answer the riddle of Kraigg Brathwaite’s extra G. The K we can understand – it’s jarring, but not unprecedented. But the second G? What does that contribute to proceedings?

Maybe his parents wrote Kraig, knew it looked wrong and added a bonus G in the hope that this would prove the necessary correction. Realising they had actually made matters worse, they would then have resolved to stop messing lest things really got out of hand. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.

Kraigg’s made a few Test hundreds, including a double against Bangladesh, but an away win against Pakistan – should it come about – would make for a far more significant match result than for any of those others. His first innings 142 not out already looks like being the most significant contribution to the Test and at the time of writing he’s not out in the second dig as the Windies set about chasing 153 to win.

Perhaps this is the Test when Kraigg will finally make a name for himself. If he gets to choose, may we suggest ‘Craig’.

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21 comments

  1. It’s in keeping with the West Indian style: taking a name and making it slightly wrong. Stafanie Taylor and Merissa Aguilleira are other examples.

    Not sure what Buttler’s excuse is.

  2. Complains about unnecessary/plain wrong additional letters.

    Writes ‘otherse’.

    Fine use of irony to illustrate pointt, KC. fine workk indeedd.

  3. Kraigg Brathwaite anagrams?

    It’s improbable, but the lad’s parents may have been keen to remind him to Wear A Right Kitbag or possibly to Tweak Right Airbag. You never know when you might need that advice.

    1. Here’s a great West Indian side the great Tweak Right Airbag could complete:

      Angola Herb Inns
      Demands Honeys
      Ballerina Car Rash
      Pro Cholera
      Anal Loser Mums
      Mr Llama Loch Slam
      Nine Albumens
      Raunchy Owlets
      Jargon Reel
      Babes Cling

      1. On second thoughts, this is a ridiculous team. ‘Mashed Dinner’ should come in, probably at the expense of Nine Albumens.

      2. Took me a while and could only manage Desmond Haynes, Carl Hooper, Marlon Samuels and Joel Garner, with the late entry of Dinesh Ramdin, who probably doesn’t have to replace anyone in as the orignial side was a 10. As a supporter I’ll hope for Bleary Scrotum to get run too.

        That was fun. I’ve compiled my Gallant Lime Index (England all time XI) too

        1. Attach Elm Heroin
        2. Scratchier Cot Musk
        3. Inept Condoms
        4. Pekinese Invert
        5. Barking Tennor
        6. Obtain Ham
        7. Enrage Joints
        8. Sad Butt Roar
        9. Men Fear Turd
        10. Ransomed Jeans
        11. Any More Pants

      4. It was designed as a X to complement the burgeoning skillsset (as a unit) of Kraiggg B, but it can be a twelve-playered XI with someone as twelfth man.

        Michael Atherton
        Marcus Trescothick (who else)
        –
        –
        –
        Ian Botham
        Geraint Jones (srsly?)
        Stuart Broad (batting too high)
        –
        – James Anderson
        –

        Don’t want to be greedy, someone else can come in and finish it off.

      5. 3. Denis Compton
        4. He Who Must Not Be Named
        9. Fred Trueman

        That leaves Barking Tennor at 5 and Any More Pants at 11.

        Meanwhile the Windian XI has no Vs in it at all and is therefore outright wrong.

      7. Balladeer, were you expecting A Chaplain Shunned River?

        (He is, after all, A Filched Googled Form)

  6. First opening batsman to ever finish not out in both innings

    In other words he is the first player to have the perfect game

    1. That’s a megga-stat. Well done that man. I find it hard to believe actually – openers are fairly often not out second innings due to chasing a tiny target – but I guess carrying your bat in the first innings is rare enough to compensate for this?

  8. It took me several years to realise he isn’t actually called Kragg Braithwaite. For some reason my brain’s attempt to rationalise the name resulted in it loding the wrong letter.

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