2 minute read“Matthew Hayden’s gone” was our favourite piece of commentary as well as being our way of announcing his retirement. We’re usually quite generous with our retirement posts. Not today. Matthew Hayden was a batsman in the right place at the right time. He was also an arrogant turd. Essentially though,
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Matthew Hayden – sport’s greatest orator
< 1 minute readNever mind cricket. Matthew Hayden’s the greatest speaker in sport, full stop. “Ultimately it will be my call to look at the bloke that talks to yourself every day in the mirror and say ‘mate it is time to go’ or ‘saddle up, pull your socks up and get on
Continue readingMatthew Hayden, please don’t retire
< 1 minute readThere are those of you who may think we’d be pleased to see Matthew Hayden retire. Nothing could be further from the truth. For one thing, it’s fun to watch his futile attempts to scrabble runs, but more importantly, we’d hate to see the cricket world lose one if its
Continue readingMatthew Hayden gives you a choice
< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden’s been getting a few rough decisions of late, as batsmen often do when the ball’s missing the bat time and time again. Hayden says: “Hawkeye I think gives you a pretty good understanding of what line the ball pitched at, but take my lbw decision in the second
Continue readingMatthew Hayden plays his 100th Test match
2 minute readIt’d be just like Hayden to hit a hundred as well – just to spite us. In honour of this momentous achievement, Hayden’s been answering the questions that you’ve all been asking these last 14 years. These are the questions on everyone’s lips. What is the fabric of playing for
Continue readingMatthew Hayden opens his mouth
< 1 minute readAnd an arse falls out. Someone should tell Matthew Hayden to try and blend into the scenery if he ever sees a tape recorder or a microphone in the vicinity. “When you get to my age, you get to a point where the next 12 months is a long, long
Continue readingMatthew Hayden: the batsman, the weapon, the legend
< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden may have scored 42 runs in four innings, but according to him, it’s the WAY that he’s scored those runs that has been so vital to Australia’s ongoing success… “I think, more than anything, I am such a weapon here, because when I started attacking, they just got
Continue readingMatthew Hayden finally talks about himself in the third person
< 1 minute readYou can tell he’s the kind of person that does that just by looking at his face. It’s okay, we’ve looked at his face to bring you that information, so you don’t need to subject yourself to the same torment. He was saying something about Harbhajan Singh at the time.
Continue readingSelf-effacing Hayden looks forward to India tour
< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden is the kind of man who looks in the mirror and smiles at what he sees. “Having played over there and played well over there, I think I’m going to be the obvious target.” Really he should look in the mirror and immediately burst into tears before punching
Continue readingSomebody likes Matthew Hayden
< 1 minute readAs you probably know, that person is Usain Bolt, a Jamaican giant who can run quickly. Matthew Hayden has responded, which rather pleasingly means he’s had another go at ‘talking’. First of all, we’ll remind you why it is FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG to like Matthew Hayden. The first thing he said
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