Posted by Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk. We’re only really interested in your own experience, so if it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. (But if it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.)
Incorrigible King Cricket contributor Ged Ladd writes…
Daisy and I arrived at Lord’s in good time to find decent seats in the pavilion. We were there for a Rudimental drum and bass music concert. We took a picnic, including hot smoked salmon and smoked mackerel sandwiches, corn snacks, grapes, biscuits and natural ginger beer.
A friendly steward took one look at the relatively antiquated pair before him, and placed us on death row. Result. That’s the place on the lower terrace with the most dance floor space in front of it.
I proceeded to transform my look from old codger to festivalista, with remarkable success, I feel.
We were super excited. Daisy wondered momentarily whether my look was cheugy. I informed her that the use of the word cheugy is, in itself, now cheugy.
Rudimental were super exciting.
Daisy took a few pictures of my dance moves. You can only imagine what it must have looked like from these.
I took a more scientific approach to photographing Daisy’s moves, producing twelve pictures which could be used as an animated sequence. They can be found on this link.
If you click those pictures backwards and forwards at three pictures per second, you should replicate precisely the 180 beats per minute of a typical Rudimental hit. At six times that speed, it is quite possible that the images will become smooth. If you make a zoopraxiscope disc of them, you could look at these amazing moves as a loop for as long as you wish. The zoopraxiscope is a bit like “The Device” only for moving images rather than cricket match beer.
For those too lazy to examine or arrange to project all of the moving images, here are some still examples.
We also enjoyed two cricket matches, one before the main event and one after.
Winter is coming. Guarantee intermittent stabs of summer in your inbox by getting the King Cricket email.
Felt like this was already a classic of the oeuvre after just two paragraphs and the suggestion that a zoopraxiscope would be the best way to view and appreciate the dance moves clinched it.
Thanks for your kind words, KC.
Clearly I have now mastered the art of covering off, within 300 or so words, any possible questions or comments that readers might have.
In any case, most of them are probably, as I write, dusting off the zoopraxiscopes from their attics and busy making discs from the images we have provided.
Yeah, think you’ve got to allow people a bit more time to come back to you with the inevitable zoopraxiscope-related technical queries.
Actually I have received one question off-line, from a work colleague, Mike from Leicester, who really ought to have known better than to ask this: “Why didn’t you just take videos of each other with your phones?”
I won’t dignify that silly question with a reply.
You’ve embarrassed yourself there, Mike from Leicester.
I had to look up cheugy. Sometimes I fear this website is becoming way too modern for me.
Ged and Daisy: You both look wonderful in the pictures. In fact, if not for those silly glasses, Ged could adopt this style for non-dance events as well.
I really would like Ged’s shirt for Christmas. Or, failing that, a new one.
Cheugy Rudimental Zoopraxiscope would be a great name for a band, by the way.
Possibly the greatest KC match report ever, certainly in terms of photographic evidence.
This match report inspired me to send one to KC, photos and all.
Let’s see what happens.
We’ve got it. It’s great. We’re going to publish it fairly soon. However, we keep getting bounce-backs whenever we try and email to thank you for it.
Kind words, Chuck, which will go down well with Daisy. As will Deep Cower’s kind words, apart from his description of the genuine vintage peace symbol sunglasses that Daisy gave me as “silly”.
As for the shirt, ironically it came from Pendulum Menswear:
https://pendulummenswear.myshopify.com/collections/shirts?page=2
I say ironically, as googling Pendulum uncovered an Australian drum and bass band of that name.
Thanks for the link, Ged.
Claudio Lugli has a lot to answer for, not least his prices.
As for Pendulum Menswear, I could go one way or the other.