King Cricket

February 24, 2008 New Zealand

Jesse Ryder injures himself gaining entrance to a toilet

< 1 minute readJesse Ryder, you really do appear in the most spectacularly glorious stories. Jesse Ryder injured himself while he was out drinking to celebrate New Zealand’s one-day series win over England. Did he injure himself in a fight? No. Did he injure himself trying to break into a toilet? Yes. He’s

February 24, 2008 Bangladesh / South Africa

Shahadat Hossain skittles South Africa

< 1 minute readThis would have been a much better update if we’d actually written it yesterday, like we meant to. Now everything’s rather tainted by an impending South African victory. In the first Test between Bangladesh and South Africa, Shahadat Hossain took 6-27 as South Africa were bowled out for 170. Those

February 23, 2008 England / New Zealand

Brendon McCullum finds his feet

2 minute readYou’d think that by the age of 26, he’d know to look at the end of his legs, but no. Up until now Brendon McCullum’s been incorrectly forcing his footwear onto all sorts of incorrect body parts. He’s been a disaster zone of misapplied shoddery. McCullum’s been finding his feet

February 22, 2008 India

IPL player prices

4 minute readFor those that don’t know, the Indian Premier League (IPL) is a new Twenty20 tournament where eight city ‘franchises’ compete for little prestige, but huge fiscal reward. There were several players who were classed as ‘iconic’ and had to stay with their home teams, but everyone else was up for

February 21, 2008 England

Andrew Flintoff suffering from the wild shits

< 1 minute readStop the press! Our policy of bringing you news from the past can wait when there’s actual, real, brand-new news of this calibre: Andrew Flintoff can’t turn out for the England Lions because he’s got ‘a stomach bug’. Always bringing you the stories within the stories, we at King Cricket

February 21, 2008 England / New Zealand

Paul Collingwood hits England’s fastest fifty

< 1 minute readPaul Collingwood, a man of incomparable aceness right now – in fact a man so ace he’s forcing full-grown men to write like 11-year-olds – hit England’s fastest ever fifty at some point in the recent past. Hitting England’s fastest ever fifty is a bit like being Australia’s most debonair

February 20, 2008 India / Sri Lanka

Yuvraj Singh can actually play deliveries that bounce above his knees

2 minute readWe’ve had a computer that hated the internet FOR ALL IT WAS WORTH for the last two days, so we’re a bit behind. We’re going to try and catch up, so brace yourselves for some three sentence updates that completely miss the point of what’s been going on. Yuvraj Singh

February 18, 2008 County cricket

James Bruce retires from cricket

< 1 minute readAt the age of 28. Uninjured. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? James Bruce is going one better than Alex frigging Loudon though. He’s moving into a career ‘in the city’. He’s got a job with ABN Amro Bank, who we’ve never heard of but instantly hate anyway. Where we

February 15, 2008 Australia / Sri Lanka

Adam Gilchrist opening the batting and scoring hundreds – still

< 1 minute readIt would be tempting to look on this as Adam Gilchrist‘s final international hundred, but the interminable Commonwealth Bank Series is going to provide him with a few more opportunities yet. Australia have played Sri Lanka twice and beaten them twice now, but they still get to play two more

February 15, 2008 England / New Zealand

Paul Collingwood – all-rounder (in one-day cricket)

2 minute readAn excellent all-round performance from Paul Collingwood: 3-43 with the ball and 70 not out off 50 balls. If it were Andrew Flintoff with those figures, everyone’d be giggling, dribbling and getting all rambunctious. They’d be saying ‘bring on the Aussies’ like morons due to the lack of blood supply