King Cricket

December 9, 2008 County cricket

Chris Lewis forgets to discard his 4kg of cocaine before boarding the aircraft

< 1 minute readChris Lewis may or may not have said: “4kg of cocaine? They told me it was a sandwich and a banana for the flight.” Actually, they told him it was a load of tinned fruit. Or maybe they told him it was 4kg of cocaine disguised as tinned fruit. The

December 9, 2008 New Zealand

Chris Martin – not the best bowler in New Zealand

< 1 minute readThe angular-elbowed, overly springy-running, Kiwi namesake of Dorset-raised, middle-class Coldplay singer, Chris Martin, has been dropped by New Zealand. What do you make of this? (Assuming you can work out what ‘this’ is from that sentence.) We partly think ‘who for?’ being as New Zealand don’t exactly have heaps of

December 8, 2008 County cricket

Never mention Harry Potter when attempting a joke

< 1 minute readWe got a text message yesterday. It said: “Giles Coren has written a shit piece in The Times about Wisden being owned by a new publisher. It’s really, really awful.” We had to take a look and it doesn’t disappoint. As you perhaps know, The Wisden Cricketers’ Almanack has been

December 7, 2008 England

Amjad Khan of Kent, Denmark and now England

< 1 minute readThere haven’t been a great many Danish cricketers. We’re not sure Amjad Khan’s exactly a great – but by Danish standards he can’t be far off. Amjad Khan’s what we’d deem a solid practitioner, which smacks of faint praise, but isn’t meant to. It’s actually more an acknowledgement that England

December 5, 2008 England / India / Pakistan

Safety concerns when touring India or Pakistan

2 minute readWe didn’t want to say anything on this subject, because we feel fairly certain it will show up our ignorance and that’s something we can comfortably highlight without remotely stretching ourself. This issue is monopolising the cricket news though, so it deserves comment. Feel free to put us straight on

December 4, 2008 Match report

Surrey v Leicestershire Pro40 match report

2 minute readSam writes: Having blagged two free press tickets to the last Pro40 game of the season at The Oval, we met outside the Alec Stewart gates on a rare day of bright sunshine in an otherwise dreary English summer. With the Vauxhall End half of the ground closed off for

December 3, 2008 England / West Indies

West Indies fill the gap

< 1 minute readThe West Indies will tour England next year, kindly helping the latter fulfill their Sky television obligations. A spokesperson for the West Indies Cricket Board may or may not have said: “We’re honoured to be the ECB’s third choice after Zimbabwe and then Sri Lanka. Since winning the Stanford Twenty20

December 3, 2008 England / India

England ask for some commandos to look after them when they tour India

< 1 minute readDon’t know about you, but having commandos around wouldn’t relax us. It would put us distinctly on edge. This news just about gives us an excuse to publish this: Ed sent it to us ages ago for a completely different reason. We asked him if he’d done it at work.

December 2, 2008 England / Regulars

KP’s magic watch harnesses the power of the sun

< 1 minute readThis is the quite unbelievable watch that Kevin Pietersen wears. You’ll never have seen him wearing it, because he doesn’t wear it when he does what he’s good at (cricket). He wears it when he’s being a normal person who’s in no way exceptional. This is a watch for when

December 1, 2008 Australia

Brad Haddin’s first Test hundred

< 1 minute readEarly in Brad Haddin’s innings, they showed his average on screen. It was 26. Someone, possibly Ian Healy, said that figure would be closer to 40 before too long. After 169 against New Zealand, Haddin now averages 36 in Tests, which seems a fairer figure. If you’ve never seen Brad