King Cricket

January 15, 2009 England

Monty Panesar’s bowling speed

< 1 minute readPeople say that Monty Panesar bowls too fast and that he doesn’t adapt. People say that he’s a mindless idiot who hasn’t got the potential to develop his game. He’s not moved on as most England supporters would have liked, but people have been going a bit overboard. There’s nothing

January 14, 2009 Bangladesh

Shakib Al Hasan twangs another bow string

< 1 minute readHow many strings does Shakib Al Hasan’s bow have? Predictably and disappointingly, he has two strings to his bow: batting and bowling. This is not an especially large number of strings, but it’s two more than we have. We haven’t even got a bow – or if we have, we

January 14, 2009 Regulars

Cat renounces indifference to cricket

< 1 minute readLemon Bella writes: StraussCat has been waiting for another chance to show how much he doesn’t care about English cricket. KP provided him with the perfect opportunity. This is StraussCat when he first heard the news that Pietersen had resigned. When I told him that the only viable candidate was

January 13, 2009 Australia

Matthew Hayden’s gone

2 minute read“Matthew Hayden’s gone” was our favourite piece of commentary as well as being our way of announcing his retirement. We’re usually quite generous with our retirement posts. Not today. Matthew Hayden was a batsman in the right place at the right time. He was also an arrogant turd. Essentially though,

January 12, 2009 Australia

What did David Warner do to his room in Brisbane?

< 1 minute readIf you don’t know David Warner, he made his debut for Australia this week and hefted six sixes in hitting the second-fastest Twenty20 international fifty. He ended up with 89 off 43 balls. After the game, a reporter asked him if he felt pigeon-holed as a Twenty20 player? “In a

January 11, 2009 England

Was Kevin Pietersen wrong?

2 minute readIt may surprise you to learn that Kevin Pietersen is not actually evil. He may even want England to win some matches. People can at times forget that real life isn’t actually a drama scripted by halfwits. The characters involved aren’t ‘good’ or ‘evil’. Kevin Pietersen polarises people, or at

January 10, 2009 England

Every person involved with England cricket is an eight-year-old child‏

< 1 minute readTurncoat players; fringe squad members ‘leaking’ information; nameless ECB officials also leaking information and accusing players of having oversized egos; not to mention a media solely interested in column inches, badgering anyone and everyone for more information. Fucking stop it. Belt up. Who cares who says and thinks what about

January 9, 2009 Australia

Matthew Hayden – sport’s greatest orator

< 1 minute readNever mind cricket. Matthew Hayden’s the greatest speaker in sport, full stop. “Ultimately it will be my call to look at the bloke that talks to yourself every day in the mirror and say ‘mate it is time to go’ or ‘saddle up, pull your socks up and get on

January 8, 2009 Australia

Matthew Hayden, please don’t retire

< 1 minute readThere are those of you who may think we’d be pleased to see Matthew Hayden retire. Nothing could be further from the truth. For one thing, it’s fun to watch his futile attempts to scrabble runs, but more importantly, we’d hate to see the cricket world lose one if its

January 8, 2009 England

Andrew Strauss, England captain

< 1 minute readThroughout history, the British have had a fail-safe method for dealing with times of crisis. They find the most sensible person among their number and they tell them that they’re in charge. A new era has dawned. An era of stoicism. An era of doing the decent thing. An era