King Cricket

May 11, 2009 Australia

Deteriorating batting performances late in a career

< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden’s been interviewed. You don’t know how much we’ve missed this. He was asked about his deteriorating batting toward the end of his Test career and, as ever, he’s crystal clear about what happened. “Suddenly questions are asked about your ability and performance, which is absolutely rubbish because your

May 11, 2009 India

Kolkata Knight Riders’ arse-kicking abilities fully explored and evaluated

< 1 minute readThis is what greets you when you log onto the Kolkata Knight Riders’ website: If the owner can’t even hold a batting helmet without it catching fire, you’ve got to go for ‘nope’ haven’t you? If you’re so disaster prone that you’re blighted by the spontaneous combustion of cricket equipment,

May 10, 2009 India

Kolkata Knight Riders light up the IPL with their woeful inadequacies

< 1 minute readEvery sports competition needs a narrative. People who run these sorts of tournaments always think that the narrative should be one of glory. ‘Ours is the best competition and our champions are the best team in history’. Triumphant music plays. Slow motion video soaks up the splendour. That’s balls. What

May 9, 2009 England / West Indies

Graeme Swann loves dismissing left-hand batsmen

< 1 minute readWe dare say Graeme Swann quite likes dismissing right-hand batsmen as well, but he doesn’t do it half as often. Of his six wickets in this match, only one was right-handed – Jerome Taylor. This is by no means unusual for Swann. Against right-handers he looks an everyday bowler. Against

May 8, 2009 England / West Indies

Why Graham Onions’ five-fer ain’t all that

< 1 minute readAfter being clean bowled for a golden duck and then seeing his first ball carted for four, Graham Onions didn’t immediately knock Test cricket sideways with his brilliance. A bit later, after three wickets in an over and 5-38, things looked a bit better. But… Have England found a great

May 7, 2009 England

Who are England’s best bowlers at the moment?

2 minute readGraham Onions and Tim Bresnan come in. One’s already done well, but wouldn’t it be nice if they were clearly – CLEARLY – the best men for the job? The truth is everyone’s mostly just hoping for the best. This has long been the problem with English cricket. There are

May 7, 2009 England / West Indies

Ravi Bopara celebrates

< 1 minute readIt’s nice to have a batsman who celebrates his hundreds through the lost art of mime. In Barbados he did a funny bow and arrow thing upon reaching three figures. Yesterday, he outlined the Lord’s honours board and scribbled his name on it. Ravi Bopara could have played flawlessly for

May 6, 2009 England / West Indies

Advice for Fidel Edwards

< 1 minute readMaybe just bowl at the stumps, eh? Surely by now you’ve realised that your team mates have tiny, rigid, Lego man hands with unbending fingers that can’t catch cricket balls. Give it up. They’re only going to let you down. Fidel Edwards took 4-53 today and could quite realistically have

May 6, 2009 Regulars

A cricket bat in an unusually HORRIFYING place

< 1 minute readOh shit, oh shit. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This is quite simply the worst picture of all time. We are properly terrified of dead animals. We can’t stress this enough. Show us a grizzly bear and we’ll be scared. Show us a dead grizzly bear and we will

May 5, 2009 Match report

IPL match report/ongoing feud with the ECB

3 minute readBert of ‘sports administration is like looking after your neighbour’s cat‘ fame writes: Last year I booked to go to see the IPL in India. Since then, I’ve not really taken much notice of the news. My travel agent – Clarke’s 20/20 Adventures – assured me that everything was tickety-boo,