King Cricket

March 3, 2009 Australia

Not so statistically aberrant or statistically abhorrent

< 1 minute readWe’ve long had a problem with Mike Hussey’s ludicrous batting average. Finally, after a long wait, South Africa have started dragging it back towards being something more sensible. Hussey now averages 57.11 after 35 Tests, which is still offensive, but not as offensive as hearing the general public give opinions

March 3, 2009 Pakistan / Sri Lanka

What of tours to Pakistan after attack on Sri Lanka team bus?

< 1 minute readOur initial reaction was to worry that one of the Sri Lankan cricketers had been killed, as if their lives were somehow more important than the lives of the policemen who were escorting them. Such is the way of thinking after something like this. We’ve always felt that cricketers were

March 2, 2009 England / West Indies

Our numbers are bigger than your numbers, so your numbers can kiss our numbers’ arses

< 1 minute readWho was the winner here? Not England. Not West Indies. Not cricket. Not the crowd. After many calculations, we’ve deduced that the winner was, rather unexpectedly, Michael Flatley. Nobody wants that. This match was like watching a dot matrix printer run off sheets and sheets of binary code. Something was

March 2, 2009 West Indies

Ramnaresh Sarwan’s batting form – sublime/ridiculous

< 1 minute readRamnaresh Sarwan’s current batting form is so sublime, it’s ridiculous. To average 150 this series with a worst score of 94 is sublime. To outdo Shivnarine Chanderpaul in terms of crease occupation is just ridiculous. We’ve a sneaking suspicion that Ramnaresh Sarwan may have become a sadhu. Sadhus are famed

March 1, 2009 Australia

Phil Hughes scores runs when others don’t

< 1 minute readThose of you who haven’t irreparably damaged your memories through inadequate preparation may remember that we told you this about Phil Hughes the day before yesterday. Phil Hughes top-scored for Australia with 75. The next highest score was 37.

February 28, 2009 Australia

Mitchell Johnson, all-rounder?

< 1 minute readMitchell Johnson, batting at nine, launched the South Africa attack to all parts on his way to 96 not out. He then took 4-25, making light of the fact that Australia have only selected three-and-a-half bowlers. Johnson’s respective averages have just swapped places, so his batting average is now higher

February 27, 2009 England

Alastair Cook, please stop hooking

< 1 minute readSomeone should look into irregular betting patterns surrounding ‘Alastair Cook caught hooking’ because he seems to be hell-bent on getting out this way. In the last Test, he leant back and poked one into the air in an enticingly gentle parabola. In yesterday’s innings, he popped one up towards Sulieman

February 27, 2009 Australia

Phil Hughes’ Australia debut

< 1 minute readPhil Hughes has now faced four balls in Test cricket. Hopefully in his next innings he’ll score his first run. We mentioned Phil Hughes a month or so ago when we pondered whether Australia were the worst team in the world or not. He was one of many reasons why

February 26, 2009 England / West Indies

Andrew Strauss – a fitting end to a top innings

< 1 minute readThe pitch may have been as flat as a well-ironed pancake, but Andrew Strauss has continued his spectacular winter form. This was his fourth hundred for eight times out. He attacked as well. Strauss scored 142 of England’s 301-3 and he was out almost immediately after tea. He batted so

February 26, 2009 England

Giles Clarke – this is what we think of you

< 1 minute read“It’s true that I have received a lot of criticism in the media, some of it hysterical and utterly irrational, some of it immensely rude. I discard those people.” Everybody ready? Let’s get discarded. Giles Clarke is the public face of the ECB. He is there to be ridiculed. He