King Cricket

May 11, 2009 India

Kolkata Knight Riders’ arse-kicking abilities fully explored and evaluated

< 1 minute read This is what greets you when you log onto the Kolkata Knight Riders’ website: If the owner can’t even hold a batting helmet without it catching fire, you’ve got to go for ‘nope’ haven’t you? If you’re so disaster prone that you’re blighted by the spontaneous combustion of cricket equipment,

May 10, 2009 India

Kolkata Knight Riders light up the IPL with their woeful inadequacies

< 1 minute read Every sports competition needs a narrative. People who run these sorts of tournaments always think that the narrative should be one of glory. ‘Ours is the best competition and our champions are the best team in history’. Triumphant music plays. Slow motion video soaks up the splendour. That’s balls. What

May 9, 2009 England / West Indies

Graeme Swann loves dismissing left-hand batsmen

< 1 minute read We dare say Graeme Swann quite likes dismissing right-hand batsmen as well, but he doesn’t do it half as often. Of his six wickets in this match, only one was right-handed – Jerome Taylor. This is by no means unusual for Swann. Against right-handers he looks an everyday bowler. Against

May 8, 2009 England / West Indies

Why Graham Onions’ five-fer ain’t all that

< 1 minute read After being clean bowled for a golden duck and then seeing his first ball carted for four, Graham Onions didn’t immediately knock Test cricket sideways with his brilliance. A bit later, after three wickets in an over and 5-38, things looked a bit better. But… Have England found a great

May 7, 2009 England

Who are England’s best bowlers at the moment?

2 minute read Graham Onions and Tim Bresnan come in. One’s already done well, but wouldn’t it be nice if they were clearly – CLEARLY – the best men for the job? The truth is everyone’s mostly just hoping for the best. This has long been the problem with English cricket. There are

May 7, 2009 England / West Indies

Ravi Bopara celebrates

< 1 minute read It’s nice to have a batsman who celebrates his hundreds through the lost art of mime. In Barbados he did a funny bow and arrow thing upon reaching three figures. Yesterday, he outlined the Lord’s honours board and scribbled his name on it. Ravi Bopara could have played flawlessly for

May 6, 2009 England / West Indies

Advice for Fidel Edwards

< 1 minute read Maybe just bowl at the stumps, eh? Surely by now you’ve realised that your team mates have tiny, rigid, Lego man hands with unbending fingers that can’t catch cricket balls. Give it up. They’re only going to let you down. Fidel Edwards took 4-53 today and could quite realistically have

May 6, 2009 Regulars

A cricket bat in an unusually HORRIFYING place

< 1 minute read Oh shit, oh shit. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This is quite simply the worst picture of all time. We are properly terrified of dead animals. We can’t stress this enough. Show us a grizzly bear and we’ll be scared. Show us a dead grizzly bear and we will

May 5, 2009 Match report

IPL match report/ongoing feud with the ECB

3 minute read Bert of ‘sports administration is like looking after your neighbour’s cat‘ fame writes: Last year I booked to go to see the IPL in India. Since then, I’ve not really taken much notice of the news. My travel agent – Clarke’s 20/20 Adventures – assured me that everything was tickety-boo,

May 4, 2009 County cricket

Paul Horton masters one-day cricket

< 1 minute read In his first 23 one-day innings, Paul Horton passed 50 once. Now he’s got the format cracked. Take that The Friends Provident Trophy! Consider yourself and any other 50-over competitions CRACKED. It seems like only last week we were writing about Paul Horton’s first one-day hundred and now here we

Three cheers for England playing three spinners. You should always play three spinners.

Dammit.

I am now hugely>i< confused Enjoyed Into The Tangled Bank very much, Mr P/fiendishly cunning imposter.

@Lev the imposter (maybe). What we do in private stays private ;-) ...and apologies for taking credit for being the…

@KC. Ahh, bu**er. Yes, confused by the birding reference.

Hats off to Harry Brook’s very particular ‘steamrollered pancake pitch’ set of skills

Let’s pick the All-Time Greatest Middle-Aged XI

Less than the sum of their parts: Six Test batting partnerships that invariably disappointed

Five Graham Thorpe innings that were equal parts silly, brilliant and vital

Show me the money. Inattention and monetisation in Major League Cricket, The Hundred and Test cricket