King Cricket

January 14, 2011 England

England are so bad we just threw up

< 1 minute readWe’re not sure we’ve ever seen an England side as bad as this. The top order keep throwing their wickets away. The bowling lacks pace and guile. There’s no plan. No cohesion. Midway through England’s innings we actually threw up due to acute dissatisfaction. We now feel completely irritated. COMPLETELY

January 13, 2011 England

Paul Collingwood – an England professional

3 minute readThe days of Gentlemen and Players are long gone, but Paul Collingwood would have been the latter – a man who never lost sight of the fact that it was all about scoring runs; taking wickets and catches; and occasionally missing the ball often enough that your team salvaged a

January 13, 2011 Australia / Extras

Matthew Hayden Ashes reaction

< 1 minute readEven now, people often ask us to write about Matthew Hayden. We never do. Partly it’s that Hayden has retired and is therefore no longer ‘a target’. Mostly it’s just that we don’t like doing what people ask us to do. With that in mind, we’d like to emphasise that

January 12, 2011 Australia / England

Shane Watson v England

< 1 minute readAustralia might have had a better chance in the first Twenty20 international if 10 of them hadn’t been shit. The 11th player, Shane Watson, has suddenly found a world where hitting fifties and bowling straight medium-pace is quite handy. If he’d have found a competent team mate, Australia would have

January 12, 2011 Regulars

Spartacus being conspicuously indifferent to Nathan Hauritz

< 1 minute readMiriam writes: Here is my cat Spartacus being conspicuously indifferent to Nathan Hauritz, just like the Australian selectors.

January 10, 2011 England

England’s Test selectors got everything right

2 minute readIt’s not cool to say that. But we’re not cool. We once did a live Twitter review of a cricket computer game while drinking real ale. On the face of it, picking a Test side is simply a matter of finding your 11 best players and then saying their names

January 9, 2011 Uncategorised

An Ashes graph

< 1 minute readBert writes: Ged has proved that life is better explained by diagrams, so I’ve made a graph. It shows the innings scores from this Ashes series. The fall of wickets is indicated by numbers. I’ve used blue for England because they play ODIs in blue, and yellow for Australia because

January 8, 2011 England

A quick pause from the gloating

< 1 minute readThe site won’t be much fun for Aussies for almost the whole of next week, but we thought we’d break up the gloating with a couple of other pieces. Remember when we got a bit carried away when Andrew Flintoff retired and wrote not one, but two retirement pieces about

January 7, 2011 Australia

Another reason why Australia lost the Ashes

< 1 minute readBeer sales are down. Moisturiser sales are through the roof. The metrosexualisation of Australian society has damaged the cricket team immeasurably. No-one eats steak any more; they all eat scallops in an Indonesian-style jus. When Simon Katich isn’t in Sydney, male body hair in the city is down by a

January 7, 2011 Uncategorised

Three innings victories and one Ashes win

< 1 minute readOn balance, you would have to say that this tour of Australia probably went a bit better than expected. Which is better: winning or doing it in such a way that Australia look shit? Don’t answer that. You don’t have to. You can have both.