England

Ollie Robinson’s no longer back-to-back

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Great news, England fans. Ollie Robinson’s come up with a far more efficient way of getting through his very many injuries and illnesses.

To recap Ollie Robinson’s recent fitness record: a back spasm in Hobart; three missed Tests in the West Indies for much the same reason; a tooth infection at the start of the county season; then food poisoning; then more back problems; and now Covid-19.

There’s progress here though because Robinson had actually already been ruled out of the Griffins’ match against New Zealanders with the back thing when he tested positive for coronavirus. So there’s an efficiency here. Robinson has hit upon the ingenious idea of scheduling his ailments concurrently rather than sequentially.

This is great news for England because it raises the possibility that Robinson could get through lupus, a broken finger, chronic debilitating sinusitis, a ruptured pancreas and monkey pox before this winter’s tours rather than being out of action until 2024 as everyone assumes he will be.

Ollie Robinson.

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11 comments

  1. Maybe he’s a voodoo doll for the other Ollie Robinson. Does that one ever get injured?

  2. Headline from Cricinfo: “Matthew Potts planning to ‘run in and bowl hard’ as England debut beckons”

    Not sure England should be giving away their tactics in advance like that

    1. Thought you were going in a different direction with that joke. Quite relieved.

    2. As intelligence leaks go, it’s still better than Chris Silverwood’s pre-Ashes, “if anyone wants it, the ball will be dobbling slowly outside off-stump” gambit…

  3. At this rate, if he ever bowls at 83mph in a Test match again, he will spontaneously combust.

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