Next week on King Cricket

1. Aww, I was looking forward to reading a piece on England’s death bowling…

2. 398/5.

   Pathetic.

   Not even 400.

   I laugh in the face of your 398/5.

   Ha!

3. Well that was the right way for a fine cricket match to end.

4. We would probably have still lost but what is the reasoning for D/L when there was plenty of time to finish it properly and people could still catch the last bus home?

   1. Resources in hand innit. Wickets being the primary resource. Two batsmen who can freely whack it and are currently going well plus another fitting that bill still to come, two best bowlers bowled out, don’t yet figure in the calculations but perhaps they should.

      I think we went from needing 54 off 37 (eminently doable) to 34 off 13, a stiffer challenge even a fully fresh Chris Henry Gayle would find somewhat daunting.

      I think they have an early curfew at the Oval or summat, in which case… why? Too many Chelsea Pensioners who might be kept awake? Pah. I’m speculating inanely to try and assuage my annoyance and frustration at how cricket has shot itself in the foot yet again. I might need to go and kick over a small wall somewhere to appease the inner beast.

5. My insurance company say they will pay for the damage to my small wall but i have to pay the first $3000

   1. Not sure you’d be covered at all, Rus, if they knew that the damage was caused by Mike in inner beast mode.

      Especially when it was “inner beast at the thought of the Duckworth Lewis algorithm not being perfectly tuned for very high scoring matches with batting all the way down to 10 and the best bowlers almost bowled out and yet that faint sense still that New Zealand were probably going to win anyway.”

      If you look at the small print in your insurance policy, you will see that particular scenario quite clearly and specifically excluded.

      I’d keep quite about that aspect, if I were you, Rus. Just between you, me and the entire interweb.

   2. Quiet even. Or quite quiet anyway…

6. I’m particularly annoyed that nobody has used the phrase “brand of cricket” yet. It is the only thing we should worry about. Whether we won or lost or released inner beasts whose subsequent rampage is considered an act of god is only of interest if it was due to the right brand of cricket. Otherwise none of us can expect a job in today’s modern media.

   1. I’m all in favour of a brand of cricket. As in, a big red “B” to be scorched into the forehead of anyone who keeps talking about brands of cricket.

   2. I feel frankly terrible – KC is gone all of one day and already inner beasts have been released, walls destroyed, lawyers called, longstanding algorithms for the resolution of weather-affected cricket matches challenged and the general fabric of social order torn asunder, and I feel primarily to blame. I think I might have to extricate myself to a place where there is no cricket – Croatia, perhaps – for a period of at least ten days while all hell is once against rounded up and put back in its cage.

   3. You’ve got good reason to feel terrible, frankly, Mike. But it’s not just you.

      Violence, criminal damage and a fraudulent insurance claim – all within a few hours of KC announcing his (mercifully temporary) absence.

      What would become of the kingdom if KC were to see sense and abandon us pitiful rabble completely?

7. Although before anyone extricates themselves from cricket and happen to be near Richmond tomorrow (the Surrey one) and fancy a game that would be helpful. Then extricate away.

   1. There’s no Richmond, Surrey as far as cricket is concerned. The southern Richmond is in Middlesex, not Surrey.

      e.g.:

      “South Group: Middlesex v Gloucs at Richmond
      Jun 14, 2015 (14:30 local | 13:30 GMT)”

      No-one knows why. Nice ground, shared with the London Welsh rugby team. Although, if you look at the composition of Middlesex sometimes, you’d think we should share our ground with London Irish.

   2. All of that is true. Although we will actually be playing in Ham (County to be decided)

   3. Sex in Richmond on a Sunday?

      https://twitter.com/Richmondcricket/status/609634015243575297

      I rest my case.

8. How was it Ged? Better than Watching England gradually descending in chaos again?

   1. Daisy and I didn’t go yesterday, Rus. Judging by the Middlesex scorecard, Ealing was a better location than Richmond yesterday for our purposes.

      I like the fact that you capitalise the phrase Watching England. I suppose that is in honour of the wonderful new brand of cricket England are playing. A brand so good, it matters not whether England win or lose for quite a while, apparently.

      The name Watching England absolutely encapsulate the essence of the desired spectator experience brand. That name has mission, vision and is action-oriented, with no less than half the brand name in the form of a verb.

      Well branded, Rus.

9. England sent Moeen Ali back to Worcestershire rather than keeping him with the one-day team so he could get lots of bowling under his belt before the Ashes.

   England have had three one-day games since then.

   Moeen has had three T20 games and a four-day game for Worcs, and he’s bowled sixteen overs total.

Comments are closed.