Posted by India’s tour of Australia has been a bit poo. They have lost a lot of cricket matches and as a result of all this losing, some of the players are getting tetchy with each other.
The media are gleefully pouncing on the tetchiness and seem to be weaving a few soap opera storylines. It might be that the players start to buy into these manufactured narratives a little bit, which will give them more impetus. Or maybe they don’t give a toss. Who knows?
The main story involves Dhoni and Sehwag. They’ve never been great mates, by all accounts. It’s been a long tour and they’re both a bit down, so the friction’s a bit more apparent. In India Today, it was described thus:
“The aggressive duo has been at the loggerheads threatening the very edifice of Team India.”
Great sentence, but a bit dramatic. Hell on earth, how are we ever going to scale that mole hill and will the maelstrom within this teacup never wane?
Why oh why do these tours go on so long. Possibly the only people interested in playing this tournament would have been Sri Lanka but even they probably weren’t excited. Who really cares who wins?!
Its like the Ashes last year in which the 7 one dayers afterwards no one gave two hoots about.
And in answer to your last question, no.
Long tours are fine, it’s the matches involved that are the problem.
Another couple of warm-up matches for India at the start would have made for a far more entertaining tour as a whole. There would have been more build-up and perhaps a better contested Test series.
At least four one-dayers could have made way to provide that. Or they could just have made way to give the Indians five minutes at home.
Tëacup Maelström would be an awesome name for a Northern metal band.
Excellent heavy metal umlauts. They röck.
There’s no smoke without a roaring all-consuming forest fire scorching the foundations of all we believe in. Can Ship India rudderless and cast adrift in this sea of mayhem survive? Or have the wheels already come off the once mighty juggernaut?
There’s no language like Indian press language. Even when Graham Gooch is — reportedly — the author:
“I have thus evinced a keen interest in Dravid’s public stance on issues and men. Most of the time he hams or is being repetitive. He defends his men and opposition, and there is never a harsh word for a pitch or a curator. He is nearly always politically correct and nearly always boring.”
“Graham Gooch”, The Indian Express 11.04.2006
Scene: Indian dressing room, the players are relaxing. Suddenly three witches appear.
Dhoni (looks up from the newspaper, startled): Virender, have we eaten on the insane root that takes the reason prisoner?
Sehwag: Fuck your balls.
Tendulkar (murmuring to himself): My children shall be kings.
Witch 1: Only he who has conquered the media, felt up a virgin, and amassed a century of centuries….
Tendulkar (rising with growing anger): BITCH.
Rahul enters.
Witch 1: All hail, Dravid, hail to thee, man who lost the off stump!
Witch 2: All hail, Dravid, hail to thee, man who lost the middle stump!
Witch 3: All hail, Dravid, hail to thee, man who lost the leg stump!
Dravid (looking defeated): ‘ts true – have lost ’em stumps quite a bit.
Tendulkar (now looking more composed and murmuring to himself): My children shall be kings.
Wriddhiman Saha: So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
Lovely stuff