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After years of research and development and huge advances in technology, humanity is now able to create machines that operate with such precision and fluidity as to leave you breathless. One day, in about a thousand years’ time, they’ll realise that they’re never quite going to be able to match Chris Woakes’ bowling action.
There’s machine perfect and there’s biological perfect. People sometimes have a dig at Woakes, saying he’s a cricketer built in a lab; an ECB project tweaked and honed at Loughborough. But just look at that bowling action. Just look at it. It’s like flowing water.
Other than his bowling action, Chris Woakes’ other main qualities are being quite splendidly nondescript and batting a bit.
Let us tell you about the other members of England’s World Cup squad
For me his other main quality is that it’s very hard to tell if he is happy or sad.
Type ‘Chris Woakes’ into google image search and you will see someone who appears at first glace to be smiling, but with a sort of upside down grimace that conveys no emotion i can put my finger on.
There are parts of the internet that use ‘:woakes:’ as an emoji in place of the classic frowny face ‘:(‘ . It’s not that we think he is sad, just that he has no experience of placing emotion on his face.
Follow up: the picture that started it http://cricsim.com/woakes.png
Wasn’t there something about Chris Waokes being a time travellor?or did we just make that up?
He’s done so much time travelling, two of the vowels in his surname have swapped places
That will be to differentiate him from Steoks and Faokes.
Funny joeks, fellas, I smiled out loud.
Yes, the discussion of Woakes as a Nicholas-Lyndhurst-in-Goodnight-Sweetheart-type was here. https://www.kingcricket.co.uk/should-england-drop-chris-woakes-for-mark-wood/2018/03/16/
I like Chris Woakes as he comes across as being competent and pleasant, if possibly a bit dull.
He’s one of the calmer batsmen in the England team, and having someone like him come in at number 8 is one of the reasons the likes of Bairstow and Roy have as much licence to tee off as they do. I felt like we still had a decent chance against Australia the other day as long as he was still at the crease.