Posted by Ged writes:
The weather is glorious and the people are extremely friendly. They have named a bazaar after my pseudonym – Lad Bazaar is the place in Hyderabad for bangles and boy is it sparkly.
Our guide reluctantly takes us to the Lal Bahadur stadium, explaining that the big matches are now played at the Deccan Chargers place some 20-30 kilometres outside the city itself.
The first gate we try is locked, but a friendly local tells us to try a gate further to the right.
At the next locked gate, we are told that the place is completely locked up. But wait, that cannot be true – Daisy can see signs of life inside.
The story changes – try the gate all the way around to the left.
We work up our own story on the way to the “last chance gate”. We are officials from the ICC specing out a possible replacement ground for the India v England match originally scheduled for Eden Gardens.
At the next gate we spin our yarn and bingo – we’re inside.
Suddenly, a plethora of groundsmen arrive and start preparing the pitch.
Very impressive. Soon, officials turn up and start offering us lavish entertainment for the rest of the day and evening. Who do they think we are – ICC officials or something?
OK I made that last paragraph up, but we did get inside and the people were friendly. Not sure the ground is quite fit for international cricket any more. The Deccan Chargers have a lot to answer for.
It is quite amazing how Ged has managed to write a report that has absolutely no substance, and yet is charming from beginning to end.
It is during moments like these that I realize how much I like cricket.
No substance? This was a report packed full to the brimful with exquisite data from start to the end.
1. The weather is glorious in Hyderabad TODAY, or tomorrow if you happen to be reading it tomorrow, or at whatever time you are reading it for the next ever. That’s what the present tense is for.
2. There’s a place in Hyderabad full of bizarre sparkly boys and The Bangles.
3. Guides are reluctant.
4. Never try the first gate first. Always try it last, after you’ve tried the last gate.
5. Ged and Daisy can easily pass as incompetent buffoons on a gravy trip.
6. In order to maximise productivity in the textiles industry, bingo in Hyderabad is played while spinning yarn.
7. Floodlights in Hyderabad have over a billion lights on them. Each.
8. Rollers in Hyderabad are so heavy that they can only be moved by one man with the help of fully two people watching.
As previews of matches that aren’t scheduled and will never happen go, this was one of the most informative I’ve ever read. A brilliant job – well done Ged.
Think there’s a bulb out on the top row, anyone fancy shinning up and sorting it out?
The ground is used for multiple sports. The HCA wanted a ground for their own, and now you have the magnificent, if unlucky, stadium in Uppal (which is not 30KM away from LB stadium btw)
I suspect that the 20-30 km in this case was a tour guides distance – as in “I’m not taking you there, it’s too far”.
An estate agent, on the other hand, would describe Uppal as a “central suburb of Hyderabad” and/or “a mere stone’s throw from the sparkling Laad Bazaar in central Hyderabad”.
Ged, I am amazed and a little confused on your knowledge of Hyderabad.