How often do you get ‘snow stopped play’?

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We’ve attended a County Championship match on a double trousers day before. Sitting still, steadily losing heat throughout the day, you don’t quite realise how cold you are until your bone marrow turns solid.

You don’t know what that feels like? You’ll know it when it happens.

Ravi Rampaul didn’t mind the cold. They always make out like it’s extra tough for West Indians, as if they’re a different species or something. The truth is, Ravi’s well padded – and not in the ‘preparing to bat’ sense. He has valuable insulation for when the mercury starts to plummet and this is what allowed him to take 5-85 against Somerset.

Or maybe he was just well prepared. Maybe he washes his balls in iced water like that Russian guy who sauntered off despite having been shot in the head in the Pine Barrens episode of The Sopranos. Meanwhile the rest of us are left shivering, smarting from poison ivy and squeezing sachets of ketchup and mustard into our mouths in our desperate bid to survive the harsh conditions.

Marcus Trescothick made 127 in the same match. He’s pretty well padded too.

OH NO!

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11 comments

  1. Marcus Trescothick. The greatest professional cricket still plying his trade.

    Marcus Trescothick.

    1. Marcus has inherited Rob Key’s mantle of the fattest former England batsman still plying his trade.

  2. That post from the distant year 2006 was interesting, not least because it made me notice that at some point in the last ten years, you’ve learned when and when not to set someone’s name apart from their description with commas. For a second I was wondering which World Cup Andy Bichel was the sole winner of, or how Dominic Cork and Glen Chapple were both the only extant aging medium-pace all-rounders in 2006.

    I believe pointing out minor grammatical errors in a ten-year-old blog post qualifies me for some sort of medal for pedantry.

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