Posted by We’ll give them one thing: they got into the middle. That’s no mean feat this summer.
Other than that, things were as rosy as wet cardboard. They conceded 312-8 against Somerset, despite dismissing Nick Compton for a duck. (His presence might have slowed the run rate a tad, actually). They also lost Mark Boucher who got a bail in the eye and is currently undergoing surgery.
We spoke to Paul Downton once. He had to retire from cricket after being hit in the eye by a bail. We’ve always felt that’s a pretty horrible way to end your career. We didn’t speak to him about that though. We spoke to him about posh boys retiring from cricket for no real reason other than to go and have a career in “business”.
So if we do have an insight to give you regarding this, it’s that Paul Downton’s a nice bloke. Also, they seem to have stopped selling ‘ham trim’ in Tesco, which is a bit of a blow.
Similar deliveries:
Exactly how bad was Australia’s tour of South Africa?
What can England take from the South Africa tour?
Why South Africa couldn’t possibly have come up with a more appropriate end to their tour of India than Lungi Ngidi’s bizarre golden duck
On this evidence you’d have to say the Mark Boucher situation isn’t exactly galvanising South Africa
Paul Downton Abbey.
Come on people, you know you want to.
Marcus North-West Tonight.
Derek Randall and Hopkirk, Deceased
Chris Old Grey Whistle Test
Angus Frasier
David Saphire and Steele
Adam and Ben (that is, the Hollioakes)
We’re slightly ashamed to say we couldn’t think of one for Hollyoaks. The best we got was Eric Hollies-oaks.
I believe Bert has all possible things relating to cricketers’ names already written up and all he has to do is look up the corresponding excel sheet for the category of the day.
Rumpelstiltskin would’ve never bet against Bert.
Through the Rob Keyhole
That’s going to scar me…
I do like the photo of the bail incident on cricinfo.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/england-v-south-africa-2012/content/current/story/571691.html
If you’re going to get bowled, do it in style. I am unsurprised to find that Gemaal Hussain is a tailender.
Their photo of the aftermath is interesting also.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/image/571685.html?page=1
I like the way that while one of his team mates is running over in a concerned way, Jacque Kallis seems to be just wondering if he’s as easy to bury as a sheep.
Awful thing, though, for the tour and for Boucher. Maybe he’ll be fit enough. Bad way to go out if he isn’t.
Kallis did have the look of a man who knew he was going to have to grab a spade to bury the body.
Dammit I was looking forward to the two BEST teams in the world going at it. Much like Mark himself it’s doubtful we will see that now.
Never mind his career, I hope he can at least retain sight in that eye.
Dickie Birds of a Feather
Dalziel and Len Pascoe
Mark Burgerac
Vernon Royle Family (thanks wikipedia!)
Ramprakash in the attic
Ooh, that’s a good one.
All Creatures Gladstone Small.
Neil Wallander
A bit of Fry and Lawry
The Chris Addams Family
Juliet Dwayne Bravo
Walker, Texas Ranji
Goodness Gracious Meaker
Ray Price is Right
Omar Henry the Fourth Part One
Viv Richards the Second
Collis King Lear
Sherwin Campbell-wick Green
Victor Trumper-ton (or maybe Harvey Trump-ton)
Monty Panesar’s Flying Circus
Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Chris Silverwood
Emmerdale Steyn
Devon Malcolm in the Middle
Tonight with Andrew McDonald
Dancing On Clive Rice
The Tony Frost Report
A Question of Speight
I think you get bonus points for getting Martin Speight in there.
The Bill Athey
Farokh “Extreme” Engineer-ing
Ready Steady Alastair Cook
The Weakest Hick
Will and WG Grace
The Bailey Show
Home and Tavare
Button Boon
Father Fred
Allan Border Patrol
How Clean Is Your Strauss
That last one has a very disturbing image associated with it.
Nixon of Dock Green
To the Manor Warne
Luke Wright to Candleford
Who Wants To Be AB De Villiers-aire?
The Gower
The Sky at Nick Knight
One Born Geoffrey Minute
Kim Hughes Line Is It Anyway?
Batman and Robin Smith
Agnews at Ten
The Darling Buds of Tim May
The Brian (McMillan), The Mitch (Johnson) and the Ian Ward-robe
Oh God. What am I doing with my life?
Luke Wright to Candleford is complete genius.
One Trueman and his dog
Black Hadd-er-lee
Monarch of the Glenn McGrath
Willis and Edward
Finn-germouse
Waqar-jack
Dev-mond’s
Gough-ford Park
Fraggle Proctor
News at Tendulkar
The adventures of Ian AusTintin
Lassie-th Malinga
Hey KC – can we have Johnson Watch back please? He’s been doing that thing that sportsmen confuse for communicating.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/current/story/571697.html
In literary terms, he’s developed a significant new style – combining stream-of-consciousness with fantasy. He now knows where his head is (but not his front foot). He knows where he’s going (but not the ball).
Anyway, best of luck with reading it.
He’s a man who thinks he learns from his mistakes. Maybe he does, but then he just keeps on drawing from his bottomless well of new mistakes.
He’s really trying.
Jardiners World
Auf Wiedesehen, Pettini
Scott Newmanimal
Babes in the Larwood
Smack the Tony Piggott
Not the Xavier Doherty Show
Stuart MacGilligan’s Island
Brush Stokes
Fred
It Ain’t Half Boycott, Mum
Gayle or no Gayle?
Are you Being Reversed?
Jim Lovejoy
Waiting for Godleman
Everybody Loves Raymond Illingworth
How I Met Fairbrother
The Bobby Simpsons
Antiques Broadshow
Merv Dillon, She Wrote
Have I Got Seymour Nurse For You
Twose Company
LA Wagh
Loudon’s Burning
Moxonlighting
Diagnosis Murtagh
Martin Love Thy Neighbour
Till Death Us Do Parks
The Imaginatively Titled Punter and Denness Show
Only When I Laraugh
Twose Company deserves a hat tip.
Balls of Steele
Hell’s Mervyn Kitchen
BBC Loudon News
The Man from UNKLE Sanath
Aqua Teen Hunger Thorpe
The Hick of It
Men Behaving Hadlee
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy
Fawlty Gowers
Ugly Batty
Strictly Come Harbajhan Singh
Not Going Grout
Topley Gear
Don’t Trust the Mitch in Apartment 23
The Big Sangakarra Theory
A Place in the Sunil Gavaskar
Come Dine With Lee
Who Wants To Be a Muralillionaire?
Charlie Shrek: The Next Generation
Cameron Cuffy the Vampire Slayer
‘Allott ‘Allott!
Gladstone Smallville
Futur-Kaluwitha-rama
You’re a machine.
A Bit of a Doosra
Outside Edge Cowan
Teenage Mutant Ninja Murtaghs
The Fresh Ashwell Prince of Ian Bell Air
Mike Powell Rangers
Reon King Bad
They Think It’s All Javed Omar
Caddick and Dom in Da Bungalow
Friday Night Jayawar-Dinner
Why Don’t Younis?
One Inzimam and his Dog
Homes Under the Aamer Sohail
Mr Suleiman Benn
Atapattu’s Company
Stanford and Son