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If we’ve learned anything about Ashes series, it’s how vital it is that the touring team hits the ground running.
We know this because everyone says it all of the time and has done for years. It’s said so often that we don’t need to check whether the importance of doing so is genuine because it surely must be. That oh-so-crucial commodity of ‘momentum’ must be present at the very outset. It cannot be built.
Oddly, it is the nature of Ashes tours that England will not be hitting the ground in just the one moment but instead for an extended period. They will be hitting the ground from the moment their plane landed until the end of the first Test. This gives us a nice protracted spell in which to gauge whether or not they are running as they do so.
The good news early on is that Steven Finn has knackered his knee and we can exclusively reveal that the injury was sustained as a result of his attempts to instantly break into a run upon hitting the ground.
The early signs are that England have got this one in the bag.
Similar deliveries:
England hit the ground, not running, but with exceptional conservation of energy
How many times will England become airborne?
The T20 World Cup final will be decided by whether or not India can run “all across the ground”
A guy who may or may not truly be called Bert fills us in on the latest instalment of his long-running Ashes bet with some Aussie
Apparently Finn has injured his left knee ‘batting in the nets’.
FFS. He had one job…
He had himself down as number six.
Car Stops Play is the the new Crossbow Bolt Stops Play.
(Apologies if that link doesn’t work, I’m typing on my phone, on a train)
I generally find the ground is harder than me, especially in hot climates, so could it be that we should in fact stop encouraging the hitting of the ground at all? I’ve never found it a good idea in my personal experience, running or otherwise.
Running is never a good idea in my experience.
I hereby launch the campaign to Hit The Ground Eating Biscuits and Watching Netflix.
[Pen hovers nervously, indicating reluctance to sign]
Does it have to be biscuits?
No. Cheese on toast also acceptable.
[Scrawls illegibly in his enthusiasm]
Just you wait. The ground will hit back at these runners. Someday…