Posted by We’re not honestly sure how much we’ve learnt during these two Tests that we didn’t already know. This appears to be reflected in the fact that people are still talking about the lack of follow-on and the late declaration. The topic appears to be filling something of a void.
You win a Test by 247 runs in three days and one session and everyone berates you because they think it could have been won by a smaller margin in less time. Nothing guarantees disappointment quite like high expectations. This is one reason why we like to keep the bar nice and low.
Also nice and low were New Zealand’s scores. Kane Williamson and Ross Taylor managed a reasonable partnership in the first innings of the first Test, but no two batsmen managed to become closely acquainted after that. The Kiwis looked tough and solid in home conditions, but in England they’ve seemed vulnerable to each of England’s four bowlers. Are they poor travellers or is it an inability to adapt when bowling plans have been honed?
Their bowling’s mostly been good, although we don’t have much to say about it. Actually, we don’t have much to say about anything today. We just feel like we should somehow acknowledge the end of the Test series. Maybe we need some sort of device, like marks out of ten or something less hackneyed. Maybe awards. We could come up with some irreverent awards. That might be a goer.
Or maybe you could just publish match reports that were sent to you months ago
Why would we move straight onto the recent ones?
I like this. Might I suggest some irreverent awards?
Best bowling while wearing sunglasses
Best teapot stance
Best leave (not as in “these awards are bobbins, best leave this website now”), rather an award to celebrate most accomplished leaving-of-the-ball to a single delivery).
Most incongruous crowd response (perhaps Jonny Bairstow picked the ball up by the West Stand after it had gone for four? Or perhaps something happened shortly after lunch at Lord’s which went unrecognised by the snoozing, gin-addled egg and bacon brigade)
On the Friday afternoon at Lord’s, I wandered around to the posh side to use the loo twixt Tavern Stand and Allen Stand (no queues, less floor piss).
As I was walking back the Pavilion, on my way back to my humble seat in the Upper Compton, I heard a muffled roar from the distance and a polite ripple of applause from the Pav. I assumed that there must have been a near miss, such as an edged four through the slips.
Then I heard the announcer say “Doug Brownlie” and realised that a wicket must have fallen. I got back to my seat and saw that Ross Taylor was out LBW.
“Was there a long drawn out referral or something?”, I asked my friends, “as there was not much more than a ripple of applause on the other side.”
“Nope – LBW, given, no referral, it was plumb”, said my friends.
Possibly the pivotal moment of the match – barely a murmer from the Pavilion. It’s a weird place on a test match day.
I’d say I’ve stopped having high expecations for these updates, but I fear that’d just encourage you further
The secret to happiness is low standards.