Posted by Well that was bad, wasn’t it? Unless you’re Australian, in which case that was great, wasn’t it? For a bit. And then maybe not so much. Maybe just a bit hollow by the end. But still slightly great because, you know, residual sense of the Ashes’ importance still. Just about.
The obvious question today is this: Has any cricket thing ever been worse than this England tour? The impulse is to say no, but with just a tiny bit of thought, we have come up with as many as four things. Doubtless there are more.
1. Most of England’s one-day cricket before 2015
Easy to forget, but this kind of chaotic smothering underwhelmment is actually a thing England practised for many a year, peaking for World Cups. In 1999 they were knocked out before their official song came out. They were playing at home.
2. “A holiday money can’t buy”
Speaks for itself.
3. The cricket bat weasels
Creepy af.
4. The cricket bat fox
DON’T MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HIM PROBABLY MAKING MORE RUNS THAN OLLIE POPE.
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Where’s the holiday taking place? It looks like it’s a tiny uninhabited atoll, with no food, water or shelter. From the look on Hayden’s face, he knows where his first meal’s coming from, and he’s already working out how to use the leftovers to make a tent.
England’s 2013/14 Ashes campaign
England’s 2006/07 Ashes campaign
England’s 1993 Ashes campaign
England’s 1989 Ashes campaign
With maybe an honourable mention for England’s 2001 Ashes campaign and England’s 1994/95 Ashes campaign
The taxidermy is definitely much better than the cricket was.
On the subject of sporting related taxidermy, I wonder (although not too hard) as to how the heads are useful for golf:
https://twitter.com/dxvidjb/status/1482439660714528777?s=20
What’s the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
You can weaselly tell because they’re stoatally different.