England

Guess what doesn’t yet exist

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McEwan's generic Champion AleWe’ve just been to the supermarket and do you know how many beers there were available that specifically celebrated England’s rise to number one in the Test rankings?

None. That’s how many. None beers. The best we could find was McEwans’s Champion Ale and that’s Scottish.

We didn’t even see any Bass No.1, which we would have reluctantly accepted as a stopgap. That hasn’t specifically been brewed several months ago in anticipation of England’s achievement, but it would still be a semi-worthy tipple. But no, not even that. The world has let us down.

Come on, The World – get your arse in gear. We don’t put up with you on a daily basis so you can swan round failing to provide us with appropriate celebratory ale at times of England cricketing achievement.

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14 comments

  1. Try:
    * Broadside (Adnams)
    * Yipee IPA (Grafters)
    * Hats Off (Mallinsons)
    * True Grit (Millstone)
    * Oresome (Prospect)
    * Zenith Pale Ale (Summer Wine)…

    …plus of course lots of India Pale Ales, and let’s face it, India have been pretty pale so far this series…

  3. All good, but none brewed SPECIFICALLY. Surely this rankings thing deserves its own dedicated beer?

    That said, we do have a belief that pretty much every event in life should have its own dedicated beer. We should maybe temper our expectations.

    1. “…pretty much every event in life should have its own dedicated beer.”

      The trick is to live your life so that beer names become appropriate. Buy a sheep, preferably a black one. Become a company director, or join a monastery and become its leader. Get a pedigree dog. Buy a pub and become its landlord.

      However, under no circumstances drink Bishop’s Finger. Seriously, I still walk with a limp.

    2. Try all of the beers listed above in the same session, KC, and I am sure that you will be better able to manage your expectations in life, at least until the effect wears off.

    3. You say that like we hadn’t hit upon that particular coping mechanism before now.

  4. Ceci – I work just round the corner from the Dorking brewery. Once they gave me two free bottles. It was one of the best days out of all the days.

  6. Perhaps they just aren’t finished yet? This things probably take patience, like watching Alastair Cook bat.

    It is probably a character flaw, but I imagine I’d initially find brewing quite entertaining, but would quickly get bored after the first day and a half, and be impatient to find out the end result.

    1. Budweiser used to actively promote their beer as being ‘fresh’.

      Fresh beer is as good as matured, bottle-conditioned milk.

    2. You all know the joke about having sex in a canoe and American beer, don’t you?

      It’s all very unfair though, if you ever come to the States (particularly Portland, OR), you’ll find hundreds of very good microbrews that never make it out of the country. For some reason they like to pretend that Coors, Miller and Bud are the only beers in America, despite the fact that from what I can see, no-one drinks them here either. In my local, beers from those breweries are all banned.

      If you ever get the chance, I’d recommend these in particular:-

      Terminator Stout (McMenamin)
      1554 (New Belgium)
      Dead Guy Ale (Rogue)
      Arrogant Bastard (Stone)
      90 Minute IPA (Dogfish Head)

  8. These are worth a look too

    Redhook ESB
    Curve Ball (Pyramid)
    Shiner Bock
    Turbodog (Abita)

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