England’s World T20 campaign so far

1. We had so much fun while you were away, KC…

   …but I think I speak for all of us when I say how glad I am that you are now back.

   It was fun, like my parents’ house was fun when I was a teenager and they went away on holiday. But in such circumstances, “fun” can soon turn to “out of control” and “how am I going to explain THAT?”

2. “England will lose to Sri Lanka”. I like the optimism. Can we at least pretend that the team has a chance?

   1. No.

   2. We have a fair chance against Holland though.

3. mmm. can’t really see england pulling that one off i must admit. then again, sri lanka have all the “momentum” – so possibly england have a chance after all?

   based on purely cricketing rationale, recent form etc etc, one would indeed expect the lankans to walk it. malinga’s bowling arm must be twitching excitedly at the mere thought of those english wickets… i bet he’s slinging down yorkers in his sleep.

   on another note, shane shillingford is cleared to bowl again – so long as he doesn’t use the doosra {yawn}… bloody illegal actions… load of nonsense… arse

   (degenerates into incoherent expletives)

4. England will beat Sri Lanka. You read it here first

   1. 10-2 chasing 190… yeah, we’re storming along atm 😉

   2. munch, munch… mmm, these words are delicious

5. I am still sticking to my “any half-competent team can win the T20 World Cup” theory. So my pick is England. Who’s willing to bet $100?

   1. I think you might have confused ‘half-competent’ with ‘rubbish’, there.

   2. Pah! $100 is a rubbish bet. How about betting that Kylie Minogue album that you bought on vinyl when you were twelve, your favourite pet, those “special” photos you took of your wife / girlfriend / husband / boyfriend / self / favourite pet, and your reputation. That last one alone must be worth nearly a dollar.

   3. My reputation? That’s funny, Bert.

   4. I’d bet mine back, but unfortunately I lost it several years ago in a pub quiz:

      Question: Which is farthest north – Coventry, Norwich or Peterborough?

      Me: Don’t know, but I’d stake my reputation on it not being Norwich.

      I’m told I can get a new one, but it does seem like quite a lot of effort.

   5. If you text bcci-fo-eva to Lalit Modi, he’ll send you one by mail. Free shipping too, if you have no qualms having (or rather, being) damaged goods.

   6. That famous Australian shopkeeper Dan Murphy has just had AU$200 of my not-especially-hard-earned cash in settlement of a bet. Fleurie, Chateauneuf du Pape, some claret, some Burgundy, Rioja, and even a Barolo. The ultimate recipient of this largesse, Mornington Peninsula resident, grade cricketer and all-round annoying sod, would have raised a toast to the Australian captain with each bottle, except that he despises Michael Clarke with a passion. I suspect Darren Lehman will fill in, but if I were him I’d toast Alastair Cook as the key man in providing his winnings.

      Meanwhile, I’m still working through the Barossa Valley collection I won in September, but they’ve all gone a bit sour.

   7. I counted at least two French words in there. Do you not have any shame, Bert?

   8. It was either that or English wine. He offered to come all the way to England to kill me in person if I settled the bet with English wine.

   9. In those circumstances, it would be the least he could do, Bert, despite the inconvenience and expense.

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