Posted by 
A lot of people are asking whether England’s new Test kit is the whitest ever seen on a cricket field.
It isn’t. That honour goes to the outfit worn by Algernon Denby-Farthing in a match for Yorkshire against Kent in 1885.
Denby-Farthing was obsessive about the cleanliness of his whites, inspecting them for upwards of an hour prior to each day’s play and frequently changing mid-over.
On the day of this particular match, his clothing had attained such an extraordinary level of whiteness that the Kent bowlers were being blinded during their run-ups. The umpires finally resolved this by moving one of the sightscreens into the middle of the pitch, obscuring Denby-Farthing from the bowlers, who were forced to deliver the ball over the top of it.
Denby-Farthing was eventually dismissed for 42 after a fearsome straight drive rebounded off the sightscreen and into the hands of fine leg.
Exactly that happened to my brother once. I knew he couldn’t have been the first.
I knew it wouldn’t take you long to write about the whites KC. They are so white, they look blue on Sky. Or is that just dodgy reception?
No, you’re quite right. White of this purity cannot be processed by the human brain, which instead defaults to blue.
I can imagine a straight drive quickly meeting his own forehead. out. hit wicket. in coma.
That nasty picture of vaughan there really reminds me of someone. something. I’m thinking Channel 4 drama, something directed by Mike Lee maybe. Character definitely isn’t allow within 2 miles of any primary school.
Are the ECB going to start amending the red stripe by making it bigger or smaller or adding another one, in the hope to sell it to youths, as football teams do. Gotta get the new England test kit, the stripe has increased!
Perhaps we’ll see KP signed up to do a Daz advert?
Perhaps the width of the red stripe could indicate how secure the player was with the management team – Hoggy for example would have a thin stripe likely to be removed at any time, whereas KP stripe would be so monstrously large that it would match his ego. Poor old Harmy of course would just have a zigzagging line all over his trousers.
That white was painful to behold. Don’t you lot over there know that pure white never suits anyone’s complexion? It has a deadening effect. Off-whites are always advised, especially for pasty-faced Englishmen.
As a diehard female fan though, Rusty, I must say that the cricket white in any hue will always bestow a certain something on a chap… even the pig ugly ones (though I completely draw the line at Rikki Clarke)
Imagine what that kit would do to Rob Keys pink complexion.
Never mind Daz, do they still manufacture Omo?
My mum’s washing powder of choice used to be Omo. Wonder if that will come back too? Though don’t think it would excite me as much as the re-emergence of Opal Fruits and Marathons.
Our mum’s cat used to be called Omo. It was a white cat.
One of my relatives had a white cat, called Snowy.
Omo used to be left in the windows of squaddie’s wives houses, when the auld fella was on tour, Old Man Out, meant that said wife, was up for some out of wedlock action.
*furrows brow and ponders whether omo was ever left in window by Mother…*