Posted by Fans of inexplicable additional consonants in first names rejoiced today when it was announced that one of England’s former bowling coaches will be returning to the setup, albeit on a short-term basis.
No, it’s not Allan Donald – it’s Ottis Gibson.
Gibson may or may not have said:
“I was sitting at home, watching The Last Airbender, when someone with an English accent phoned and asked me if I wanted to spend three weeks in Potchefstroom telling 20-year-olds to put in the right areas. At first, I was completely irritated because I hadn’t pressed pause, but then I realised I could rewind.”
There are echoes here of the first time Gibson was asked to work with England. Back then, a telephone call caused him to miss vital scenes in Thunderpants and he subsequently struggled to follow the plot.
Regarding whether even more coaches are likely to come in, Peter Moores or someone may or may not have commented:
“If Kraigg Brathwaite needs a new job, all he has to do is get in touch.”
Telephoon?
Patois, or typo?
Extra consonants bad. Extra vowels ok.
I secoond the vowel movement Pbert. The pee is siilent.
So Poobert is out?
A telephoone call is a communication with a great deal of wind to go with it.
A call from Giles Clarke (God forbid) would be, by definition, a telephoone call.
To give another example, a call from a client asking to bring a previously agreed deadline forward by a couple of weeks can also be described as a telephoone call.
I’d better crack on.
Sometimes it’s actually worth making typos for the response they get.
On an unrelated topic, Australia seem to be using the extremely Australian tactics of dropping the new spinner because he’s not the Second Coming of Warney, and not playing Phil Hughes.
“…now there’s a fielder [Johnson] stationed at a deepish, very straight mid-off, almost right behind the bowler. Azhar stops Siddle in his run-up, and points out the fielder, but the umpire says he’s allowed to field there.”
Good on the Aussies though. The Spirit of Cricket doesn’t expressly forbid the positioning of a fielder in an almost pointless position that could only conceivably be for the purpose of distracting the batsman, so it must be IN the Spirit of Cricket.
Younis/Younus Khan walks out, shrugs his shoulders, sighs, and makes another hundred against Australia. Just another day at the office.
The Australian bowling card looks like the Sri Lankan ones from the nineties. “Who has hands?” “Me, me, me…” “Alright, now stand in a line and don’t fight. You’ll get your chance”.
From the Nineties?
Angelo Mathews used 10 bowlers as recently as today.
It is downright shitty of a captain to use ten bowlers and not give the ball to the magnificently named Dickwella. I like Angelo, but this is a dick move.
Azhar Ali wants to bat forever, and doesn’t give a toss how many runs he has made. He is a joy to watch.
Ace stat on Cricinfo:
“Since they were 2-7 after 19 balls in Dubai, Pakistan have racked up 1,057 runs for the loss of 12 wickets in 311 overs”