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David Warner paid his own tribute to Phil Hughes by flaying a whole series of fours in the air through the off side. Chris Rogers then provided the context by demonstrating just how hard it is to middle the wide ball angling across a left-hander. Edged to slip? Where was the open-faced scythe to the boundary, man?
Warner’s 10th hundred in 33 Tests takes his average within a spit of 50. He did for the opening bowlers to such an extent that India were relying on Ishant Sharma to bring the run-rate down. For all Sharma’s qualities, that’s usually a sign that things have gone horribly wrong.
India’s other bowler was Karn Sharma, a legspinner, who was making his debut. We presume R Ashwin has again been omitted on the basis of his poor overseas record – something that he is going to struggle to correct from the dressing room. Thus far, Karn Sharma’s built a piss-poor overseas record of his own, but there’s little point judging him on day one of an Australian Test match. He does appear to have moobs, however.
The other big news was Michael Clarke retiring hurt. The injuries are coming with the frequency of Warner boundaries these days and we’re starting to think we might not see much more of Australia’s captain. We daresay he finds it rather frustrating. We do and we have pretty much nothing vested in his career.
Clarke’s opposite number was Virat Kohli because MS Dhoni is slightly injured and slightly resting ahead of the World Cup. From what we saw, Kohli can do stern-faced pointing in sunglasses with the best of them. He did however lose the toss, which is something to work on before his next match as captain.
List of England Test Cricket Captains Called Michael:
Michael Vaughan
Michael Atherton
Mike Gatting
Mike Brearley
Mike Denness
MJK Smith
List of Test Cricket Captains Called Michael From All The Other Test Nations Put Together:
Michael Clarke
That’s his problem – he’s blazing a trail, going boldly where none have gone before. No wonder he’s hurt his back.
We swear Michael Atherton started out as a Mike. We blame the press. They did the same to Andy Flintoff.
Catherton is rhyming slang for penis, hence the change.
For similar reasons, the Lord’s groundsman is known as Mick Hunt rather than Mike.
Interestingly, all these Captain Mikes have had some sort of problem during their career:
Clarke – back
Vaughan – back
Atherton – ankylosing spondylitis
Gatting – cakes
Brearley – beard
Denness – Scottish
Only MJK Smith seems to have got away with the Curse of the Michaels, although his son-in-law was a middle-distance runner.
This thread made me do a LOL. LOLs have been in short supply recently.
So England need 240 in 50 overs to win the current ODI. Although it’s raining, so there will be a Duckworth Lewis adjustment. If it’s to be a 40 over innings, England will need 250. For 30 overs England will need 7, and of course if it’s a 20 over innings, England will need 9,001.
But if England get no overs at all, why can’t the match just go to a judges’ decision? They could be marked like they do in ice dancing or horse dancing. Firstly they could get a Difficulty Tariff, in which England would score well by virtue of having selected Alastair Cook. Then there could be marks for Artistic Expression, say by symbolically representing the plight of Peruvian Aboriginals through the medium of field placings. The batsmen could be scored on Technical Ability, scoring a point every time a commentator describes their shot as “majestic”, “languid”, or “in the classical style”. Ten points are given for any commentary phrase that starts, “if there are any children out there who want to know how to play that shot…”
I once heard Colin Cowdrey explain that MJK (Mike) Smith was removed from the captaincy against the West Indies in 1966 because he wore spectacles.
It’s Michael Colin Cowdrey but he had a problem with Michael.
Bloody well spotted.