Posted by Send your pictures of cricket bats and other cricket stuff in unusual places to king@kingcricket.co.uk. Feel free to put the cricket thing in the unusual place yourself.
The Smudge writes:
Please find attached a picture of Lord Buckethead, Intergalactic Space Lord, wearing wicket keeping pads.
This picture was taken after the Maidenhead constituency count when Lord Buckethead stood against me (and Theresa May) in the 2017 General Election. (Here’s another shot of him.)
I would like to emphasise that I was standing as an independent. This was pre-“Brexit Party” and the rosette colour was chosen by me as it matched one of my favourite ties. Farage’s swivel-eyed loons only adopted it later.
At the risk of a Stig moment, this incarnation of Lord Buckethead was the comedian Jon Harvey. He is a proper cricket guy and occasional cricket writer so the pads are probably his.
Who won between you and Buckethead?
He did…
https://www3.rbwm.gov.uk/info/200394/election_results/1271/general_election_results_2017
This is what comments sections are for.
That was the exact same question that immediately popped into my head.
Chapeau Bert and commiserations Smudge.
Also, I have to ask from the picture, is bucket head extremely small, or are you extremely large Smudge?
I’m fairly large and Buckethead is fairly small, JB.
I realise that such nuanced answers are part of the reason I was never going to succeed in politics.
It appears to me that Buckethead is taller, though.
This is super and also not so super (on the basis that The Smudge lost) and raises so many questions, of which the first five:
What might have been, had those 108 voters not spoiled their votes?
Would it have made any difference if The Smudge had followed Theresa May’s sartorial example and matched the colour of his outfit to his shoes?
What are those two boffins on the left up to that is so interesting that they do not realise they are photobombing The Smudge and Lord Buckethead?
Would more votes have been garnered if The Smudge had used his nickname on the ballot sheet or described himself as The Smudge Party Candidate?
Is it possible to buy a cape like Lord Buckethead’s on the high street?
All pertinent, but unanswerable questions, although the count night would have been duller without the spoilt papers.
It all had a bit of an odd epilogue for Lord Buckethead. After the Election, the creators of the C list movie which the character originated in decided to to assert their copyright and told Harvey to cease and desist or he’d be in bother. The Buckethead who stood in subsequent elections, telly appearances etc. was a puppet of that American corporation. The Guardian tells the tale:
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/may/26/lord-buckethead-double-trouble-theresa-may
Harvey has subsequently adopted the persona of Count Binface, in part, I suspect, to thumb his nose as the ersatz Buckethead. However Binface does not appear to use any cricket gear in his costume, so has no place here.
Shouldn’t this piece be deemed “animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket”, by dint of those two election night wonks in the background? Yes, I suppose it is “cricket stuff in an unusual place” as well, but the indifferent geeks, to my mind, dominate proceedings.
Smudge, if you are ever to become a politician you need to preface your answers with phrases such as:
“That’s a really good question” or “I’m really glad you’ve asked me that question”, before blathering on about all manner of things…while saying nothing that might be considered to be an answer to the question actually asked of you.
Absolutely loved this piece, btw. Just the sort of tonic I enjoy at the moment – many thanks.