< 1 minute read Lemon Bella has the latest on Strauss’s omission from the England squad: “Here is a picture of StraussCat being indifferent to Strauss (again). It means you can get two posts out of the Andrew Strauss announcement, instead of just the one.” “You’d think in this time of crisis his namesake
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Matthew Hayden attaches a mirror to the back of his bat
< 1 minute read It’s to more closely monitor the ageing process. ‘Still a few wisps of hair at the front there. Not time to retire yet’.
Continue readingCaptain fails to learn second fielding position
< 1 minute read “And you: You go and field at, er, slip.”
Continue readingGraeme Swann fails to conquer his bail addiction
< 1 minute read For years Graeme Swann has secretly suffered from a rare and debilitating disease. Graeme is addicted to bails. Graeme’s been through a number of treatments – enforced withdrawal, hypnosis, various types of medication – but in the end he just has to accept it. He’s a bail addict and he’ll
Continue readingAndrew Strauss given out ‘hunchback at slip’
< 1 minute read Pakistan here successfully appeal for the little-known mode of dismissal ‘hunchback at slip’. As he delivers the ball, Mohammad Sami notices that his team mates have smuggled Quasimodo into the first slip position and asks the question of the umpire. This means of dismissal was removed from the laws later
Continue readingNorth Gear Premier League Twenty20 Grand Final match report
< 1 minute read Royal Cricket (no relation) visited Canterbury to ignore the North Gear Premier League Twenty20 Grand Final. They say this: Our mate Paul Hibberd’s younger brother, James, was playing, so we didn’t ignore him but we did spend lots of time ignoring the cricket and looking at the cameras to make
Continue readingMarcus Trescothick’s Twister goes on sale
< 1 minute read ‘Right foot… blue’
Continue readingA match report from Greece
3 minute read Miriam et al. report from Greece where they witnessed the television coverage of England’s not-at-all fictional win over New Zealand first-hand. If you are thinking of sending a match report, consider this confirmation that not only does the report not have to be timely, it also doesn’t particularly matter if
Continue readingKent v Durham in the County Championship – the last three days IN FULL
< 1 minute read Lemon Bella reports: I went to watch the last three days of the Kent v Durham County Championship match. However, because Kent appeared to have somewhere more important to be, I only ended up seeing seven hours of play. I put my spare time to good use by purchasing a
Continue readingKent v Yorkshire Pro40 match report
< 1 minute read From what would appear to be our Kent Pro40 correspondent, Lemon Bella: I forgot that this match started an hour earlier than usual, so I didn’t have time to get lunch ready. This meant I arrived at the ground armed only with some dried apricots and a bottle of water.
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