< 1 minute readIs that suitable footwear? No. Should he be removing his hard hat? No. Also, it’s generally accepted that a high-visibility tabard be worn over the top of ordinary clothing so that you can easily be seen. Botham is wearing high-visibility clothing, but has concealed its garish, eye-catching qualities beneath a
Continue readingCategory: Regulars
England v South Africa at the Oval – a match report
2 minute readBefore you read this, we’d just like to make one thing abundantly clear about the sickening content that follows. King Cricket in no way encourages you to contact, meet or socialise with other readers of the site as it flies in the face of our whole philosophy. In fact, it’s
Continue readingLaurence Elderbrook protects the tail
2 minute readThe team decide that they need a more experienced batsman to bat with the tail. The current number seven doesn’t protect the batsmen below him properly, so this is where I, Laurence Elderbrook, come in. It’s an overcast day and our batsmen struggle. Before long the fifth wicket falls. The
Continue readingTwenty20 finals day match report
2 minute readEd (33 and a half) writes: My sister’s broadband had stopped working so I rang her ISP’s help desk. After 30 minutes of stupid, obvious questions they said they’d have to send a BT engineer to have a look. When they told me it was going to cost £180 I
Continue readingLaurence slots in at six
2 minute readOne of our batsmen has fallen sick, so I am asked to fill in at the pivotal number six position. Nobody else feels up to the task, but I, Laurence Elderbrook, step up. Our top order find the pitch difficult and while they manage to keep wickets in hand, they
Continue readingSurrey v Durham County Championship match report
< 1 minute read668 Neighbour of the Beast writes: Cricket festival season and so to the outground of Guildford – a venue where you and the boundary rope can become acquainted. It’s quite spiritual to sit on the grass and not look at the back of an advertising hoarding. Sadly, on a less
Continue readingLaurence Elderbrook bolsters the middle order
2 minute readOur fragile top order frequently lands the middle order in trouble. In a bid to rectify this, I am asked to bat at five to add a bit of experience and resilience. On this occasion I am fortunate enough that the top four all get good scores, so when the
Continue readingLaurence Elderbrook accommodates an extra opener
2 minute readWe have one too many openers in this match, so I offer to move down to number four to allow one of them to bat at three. He doesn’t have the range of shots to profit in the middle order, whereas I do. The second wicket falls and the slight
Continue readingEngland v South Africa match report
2 minute readOur inbox is perilously close to empty. One of you better go to a cricket match or something. D Charlton writes: I have recently become an associate member of MCC. This means I can sit in the pavilion at Lord’s and watch all but the biggest match days. I can’t
Continue readingIntroducing Laurence Elderbrook
2 minute readMy name is Laurence Elderbrook and I am a cricker. No. More than that. I am a damn fine cricketer. I am a number three batsman, as adaptable as I am unflappable. I have all the shots and know when to use them. I am the rock on which our
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