< 1 minute readWayne Parnell went for 37 off two overs yesterday. He conceded five in the first. In the second, Jos Buttler took him apart as if he were an old, rotten shed which had tried to have sex with his daughter. We’re not exactly sure how a shed would go about
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What are England and South Africa playing for tonight?
< 1 minute readAre they playing for pride, honour, a trophy? No! They’re playing for momentum. Going into the Twenty20 World Cup with this batting line-up, England will need as much momentum as they can get, because it rather feels like they’re about to roll into a brick wall rather than a little
Continue readingHashim Amla WILL NOT GO AWAY
< 1 minute readWe really like Hashim Amla, but by the box of Dujon, will he EVER stop batting? There’s one more match this summer and we have every reason to believe that he’ll bat out the overs and make a hundred. It seems the most likely outcome, even if it’s another nine
Continue readingCricket’s schadenfreude production line
2 minute readCongratulations, South Africa. Prepare for people to delight in your fall. In recent years, the Test rankings have been a kind of schadenfreude production line. One nation gets to the top and promptly celebrates and then everyone else celebrates even more heartily when the team in question drops down again.
Continue readingHashim Amla is a bit too good
< 1 minute readHashim Amla is not new. He’s been bearding hundreds for many years now. It is therefore no surprise that his second innings hundred tipped the balance from ‘could go either way’ to ‘very probably a South Africa win’. Vernon Philander’s two late wickets then shoved it to ‘almost certainly a
Continue readingJonny Bairstow isn’t bothered
< 1 minute readYou wonder whether it’s worth England batting Jonny Bairstow at the top of the order. It’s not that he’s particularly suited to the role, but if the opposition remain hell-bent on bouncing the shit out of him, it might soften the ball a bit for all the batsmen who follow.
Continue readingStuart Broad fails to trouble the speed gun
1 minute readYesterday, we said that England needed to take wickets quickly. They did. How did they achieve this? Well, actually, we’re not sure they had all that much to do with it. It was almost like South Africa had exhausted their collective mental reserves; like much of the side’s patience and
Continue readingA bit of posturing from England and South Africa
< 1 minute readGraeme Smith’s second innings declaration had a whiff of safe aggression about it. It was like swearing at a pedestrian from the top deck of a moving bus. England could have run and climbed aboard at the next stop, but it was never likely. They settled for doing a half-jog
Continue readingKevin Pietersen abuses South Africa and buys England some time
2 minute readUp until today, South Africa have been appropriating England’s Test template. They’ve batted for bloody ages and wearied the opposition batsmen in the process, sapping their concentration and vitality. Their first innings 419 wasn’t a monstrous score, but 139 overs was plenty to put into England’s legs and minds. It
Continue readingMorkel, Trott and digger wasps
2 minute readJonathan Trott’s guard-marking routine is infamous. He has a series of things he NEEDS to do before he’s happy to face a delivery. Morne Morkel’s turn at the start of his run-up is less well-known, but is seemingly just as deeply ingrained. It seems he can’t run into bowl without
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