2 minute readYou’d think that by the age of 26, he’d know to look at the end of his legs, but no. Up until now Brendon McCullum’s been incorrectly forcing his footwear onto all sorts of incorrect body parts. He’s been a disaster zone of misapplied shoddery. McCullum’s been finding his feet
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IPL player prices
4 minute readFor those that don’t know, the Indian Premier League (IPL) is a new Twenty20 tournament where eight city ‘franchises’ compete for little prestige, but huge fiscal reward. There were several players who were classed as ‘iconic’ and had to stay with their home teams, but everyone else was up for
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff suffering from the wild shits
< 1 minute readStop the press! Our policy of bringing you news from the past can wait when there’s actual, real, brand-new news of this calibre: Andrew Flintoff can’t turn out for the England Lions because he’s got ‘a stomach bug’. Always bringing you the stories within the stories, we at King Cricket
Continue readingPaul Collingwood hits England’s fastest fifty
< 1 minute readPaul Collingwood, a man of incomparable aceness right now – in fact a man so ace he’s forcing full-grown men to write like 11-year-olds – hit England’s fastest ever fifty at some point in the recent past. Hitting England’s fastest ever fifty is a bit like being Australia’s most debonair
Continue readingYuvraj Singh can actually play deliveries that bounce above his knees
2 minute readWe’ve had a computer that hated the internet FOR ALL IT WAS WORTH for the last two days, so we’re a bit behind. We’re going to try and catch up, so brace yourselves for some three sentence updates that completely miss the point of what’s been going on. Yuvraj Singh
Continue readingJames Bruce retires from cricket
< 1 minute readAt the age of 28. Uninjured. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? James Bruce is going one better than Alex frigging Loudon though. He’s moving into a career ‘in the city’. He’s got a job with ABN Amro Bank, who we’ve never heard of but instantly hate anyway. Where we
Continue readingAdam Gilchrist opening the batting and scoring hundreds – still
< 1 minute readIt would be tempting to look on this as Adam Gilchrist‘s final international hundred, but the interminable Commonwealth Bank Series is going to provide him with a few more opportunities yet. Australia have played Sri Lanka twice and beaten them twice now, but they still get to play two more
Continue readingPaul Collingwood – all-rounder (in one-day cricket)
2 minute readAn excellent all-round performance from Paul Collingwood: 3-43 with the ball and 70 not out off 50 balls. If it were Andrew Flintoff with those figures, everyone’d be giggling, dribbling and getting all rambunctious. They’d be saying ‘bring on the Aussies’ like morons due to the lack of blood supply
Continue readingStephen Fleming retires
2 minute readWe really ought to have something to say about Stephen Fleming, but we really don’t. We know that he was a brilliant captain, because we read it about a thousand times. We don’t question that fact, but we’re struggling to think of any evidence. Our first thought was of the
Continue readingMatthew Hoggard and Younis Khan play “spot the statistics nerd”
< 1 minute read‘Spot the statistics nerd’ isn’t a game you should play in a cricket ground when it’s anything other than completely empty. It’s no challenge at all. A game of ‘spot the fancy dress drunk’ was abandoned later that same day.
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