< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden is the kind of man who looks in the mirror and smiles at what he sees. “Having played over there and played well over there, I think I’m going to be the obvious target.” Really he should look in the mirror and immediately burst into tears before punching
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Glen Chapple tries to deny Lancashire’s batsmen division two
2 minute readDon’t think for one minute that we don’t like the wisened pile of freckles that is Glen Chapple. We always moan about Lancashire’s ageing medium-pace all-rounders, but the truth is we’ve nothing against either Chapple or Dominic Cork. It’s just that having both of them clogs the side for younger
Continue readingWhy Lancashire have earned relegation
2 minute readLancashire’s bowling has been acceptable, if little more than that. Lancashire’s batting has been as embarrassing as the thought of Henry Blofeld calling someone a ‘dude’. We’ve done the statistics about Lancashire’s batsmen already, but here are some updates. Mal Loye had previously scored 103 runs from 12 innings –
Continue readingAn influence on Lancashire’s batting
< 1 minute readWe’ve made an unbelievable discovery. The F5 key on our keyboard is a shortcut that leads to the fall of a Lancashire wicket. Go and look at the scorecard for their current match and give it a go yourselves. See if you too have the power. We have honestly just
Continue readingOliver Newby: our new favourite Lancashire player
< 1 minute readLancsTV do one minute interviews with the players. Oliver Newby was interviewed by Mal Loye. One question was: ‘What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in cricket?’ “Slept with Mal Loye and Gareth Cross.” Other highlights include: ‘What’s the worst thing you ever did at school?’ “I once came
Continue readingSymonds: Pick me – I’m not a knob now
< 1 minute readEver since he was sent home from Australia’s one-day series against Bangladesh, speculation has been rife about Andrew Symonds. Specifically, that speculation has centred on exactly what kind of aquatic creature molested him as a child. Some say it was a turbot, some say a merman. Taken as a whole,
Continue readingWhen is a country too dangerous to tour?
2 minute readTim May, chief executive of the Federation of International Cricketers Associations, explains why Australia are likely to tour India, but wouldn’t visit Pakistan (like usual) for the Champions Trophy: “Pakistan has had 66 suicide bombings within its country over the past 12 months with over 3,000 people killed and 17
Continue readingJesse Ryder’s back
< 1 minute readIs broad and pudgy and malleable like plasticine. It’s an amorphous, wobbling built-in cushion so he can lie down anywhere and feel comfortable. It’s also a trap. When Jesse Ryder needs to take all that weight off his feet, he plonks himself down and leans into his back’s exquisitely welcoming
Continue readingAndrew Symonds: tool
< 1 minute readWe’ve long suspected Andrew Symonds of being a five-year-old trapped in the body of a hirsute cow. That opinion is being reinforced of late. From The Australian: “Stung $3000 for missing the team bus, he became what one person described as “the rule Nazi” and would ensure he was on
Continue readingWho the hell is Jason Krejza?
< 1 minute readAustralia have called up an off-spinner called Jason Krejza as support for Bryce McGain in the upcoming Test series against India. How Australia’s spin resources have – well – evaporated. Even McGain (who we won’t say a word against) will be a debutant. Other Australian spinners we know: Dan Cullen,
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