< 1 minute read“All right Mrs Benn. Is your Sulieman playing out today?” That passes muster. Well done that man’s parents. We’ll go so far as to say it’s a magnificent name. See what we’ve done there? 6ft7in left-arm spinners don’t grow on trees. They ARE trees. It would be good if the
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Andrew Symonds continues to embrace tooldom
< 1 minute readIt’s difficult to escape the feeling that Andrew Symonds is being punished by Cricket Australia for just generally being a bit of a pillock. Symonds isn’t being selected for Australia’s upcoming tour of South Africa. It’s partly because he went on radio half-cut and called New Zealand’s Brendon McCullum ‘a
Continue readingAB de Villiers in un-ace shocker
< 1 minute readYou all thought that AB de Villiers was ace at everything. He isn’t. Roscoe drew our attention to Show Them Who You Are, a single on which AB sings and plays guitar. Roscoe rather generously gave it 1/10. Apparently someone phoned up a South African radio station to tell them
Continue readingEngland beat Pakistan at the Oval
< 1 minute readNearly three years on and still they’re arguing about whether England ‘won’ via a Pakistan forfeiture or whether it was ‘match abandoned’. At best it’s splitting hairs. Everyone knows what it was: a balls-up. The match should be officially reclassified as such. Sport is of the moment. Except for a
Continue readingLendl Simmons continues a rich West Indian tradition
< 1 minute readLendl Simmons continues the rich West Indian tradition of having a first name to die for. Just think of the greats who’ve represented the islands: Curtly, Tino, Reon and Vasbert. Our own personal favourite is ‘Wavell’. There’s a great way to test how good a first name is; you simply
Continue readingRicky Ponting’s match-fixing shame
< 1 minute read“So one thing I always do is I gotta run myself out early on – it’s much more fun being an Andrew Symonds or someone.” Don’t fear, people. Ponting is talking about playing Ricky Ponting Pressure Play on the PSP, which is known as Brian Lara Pressure Play in the
Continue readingNew logo for the Gloucestershire Gladiators
< 1 minute readGloucestershire’s players are ACTUAL GLADIATORS. Who knew? We always thought Jon Lewis looked more like a musketeer, but what do we know? Gloucestershire’s PR bod, Stephanie Keene, said: “We recognised that our nickname provided the club with a fantastic opportunity to link with the powerful images synonymous with the historic
Continue readingShakib al Hasan is the best all-rounder in one-day internationals
< 1 minute readShakib al Hasan is the best one-day international all-rounder in the world. It’s official. According to who, you ask? According to maths. You can’t argue with maths. Well, you can argue with maths, but it takes ages and you’ll get confused and bored, so why bother? Just take it on
Continue readingIPL window for England players
2 minute readA group of guys who aren’t you have got an opportunity to earn a lot of money. The situation is that any England players who might actually be wanted by an IPL franchise will play Twenty20 in India for three weeks and then their next match after that will be
Continue readingTests at neutral venues
< 1 minute readZapp Brannigan says: “What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?” Neutrality sickens us, just as it sickens him. Picturing a neutral crowd at a neutral Test venue sends us into a blind fury at all
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