< 1 minute read“Let’s make the shirt maroon and then match that with scarlet trousers and hats, because maroon and scarlet are complementary colours. “Let’s put some yellow bits here, there and everywhere and then let’s make the collar, ooh, let’s say bright green. “Finally, as the piece de resistance, let’s put a
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Steve Harmison has one day to bowl his way back
2 minute readIf there’s one thing England need more than anything else, it’s a fast bowler. If there’s one thing Steve Harmison isn’t at the moment, it’s a fast bowler. The good news for Harmison is that nobody else is either, so all he really needs to address is that ‘at the
Continue readingWhat is genuine pace?
< 1 minute readIn cricket, ‘genuine pace’ is usually 90mph (144kph) plus. If a bowler has ‘genuine pace’, it means he bowls quickly, even though the words themselves don’t really mean that. We’ve all got to stop talking about ‘genuine pace’. 36mph is a genuine pace, after all. What pace isn’t genuine? One
Continue readingJames Anderson bowls reverse swing
< 1 minute readIf you’ve only seen the scorecard, you might not believe us on this one, but James Anderson bowled brilliantly in this match – particularly when you consider that he was suffering from the wild shits for the whole of one day’s play. He’s bowled well all series, in fact, in
Continue readingThird umpire referrals
2 minute readWhat is the third umpire referral system? Third umpire referrals are a system whereby players from either side can demand a review of the on-field umpire’s decision by the TV umpire. If a batsman’s given out lbw, he can refer it to the third umpire, who then watches the footage
Continue readingDenesh Ramdin’s massive cricket bat
< 1 minute readCan someone get hold of Denesh Ramdin’s bat and measure how wide it is? It can’t possibly be legal. As everyone got nervier and nervier and it became harder and harder for batsmen to hit the ball, Ramdin just kept middling it with his textbook defensive strokes. Whatever was bowled,
Continue readingHow England can win this Test match
< 1 minute readIt’s been a strange sort of series where England’s first innings in each Test has largely been irrelevant. Having won the first Test, West Indies seem to have set themselves to bat past England – however monumental the score – and then see what happens. They’ve almost waited for the
Continue readingFidel Edwards’ bouncer
2 minute readIt’s the last over of a long day. The West Indies are bowling. Must be time for Fidel Edwards to bounce the shit out of someone. This isn’t the first time Edwards has done this during this series, but it was perhaps the best example. Edwards rarely lacks for effort,
Continue readingMitchell Johnson takes England back to the Nineties
< 1 minute readAt one stage South Africa were 6-3, effectively 6-4, as Graeme Smith had been hospitalised. The man who did this was Mitchell Johnson and he forced Jacques Kallis to retire hurt shortly afterwards. Johnson provided bounce, swing and crucially, pace. Mitchell Johnson is a fast bowler. We’d say a ‘genuine’
Continue readingAndrew Strauss rules the winter
< 1 minute readAndrew Strauss has hit five hundreds this winter. Having done extensive statistical analysis, we have deemed that ‘acceptable’. We went out to canvass public opinion about the England captain. Malcolm Rathbone, 48, said: “That Strauss is a symbol of all that’s great about Britain. This is the kind of thing
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