< 1 minute readThis is what greets you when you log onto the Kolkata Knight Riders’ website: If the owner can’t even hold a batting helmet without it catching fire, you’ve got to go for ‘nope’ haven’t you? If you’re so disaster prone that you’re blighted by the spontaneous combustion of cricket equipment,
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Kolkata Knight Riders light up the IPL with their woeful inadequacies
< 1 minute readEvery sports competition needs a narrative. People who run these sorts of tournaments always think that the narrative should be one of glory. ‘Ours is the best competition and our champions are the best team in history’. Triumphant music plays. Slow motion video soaks up the splendour. That’s balls. What
Continue readingGraeme Swann loves dismissing left-hand batsmen
< 1 minute readWe dare say Graeme Swann quite likes dismissing right-hand batsmen as well, but he doesn’t do it half as often. Of his six wickets in this match, only one was right-handed – Jerome Taylor. This is by no means unusual for Swann. Against right-handers he looks an everyday bowler. Against
Continue readingWhy Graham Onions’ five-fer ain’t all that
< 1 minute readAfter being clean bowled for a golden duck and then seeing his first ball carted for four, Graham Onions didn’t immediately knock Test cricket sideways with his brilliance. A bit later, after three wickets in an over and 5-38, things looked a bit better. But… Have England found a great
Continue readingWho are England’s best bowlers at the moment?
2 minute readGraham Onions and Tim Bresnan come in. One’s already done well, but wouldn’t it be nice if they were clearly – CLEARLY – the best men for the job? The truth is everyone’s mostly just hoping for the best. This has long been the problem with English cricket. There are
Continue readingRavi Bopara celebrates
< 1 minute readIt’s nice to have a batsman who celebrates his hundreds through the lost art of mime. In Barbados he did a funny bow and arrow thing upon reaching three figures. Yesterday, he outlined the Lord’s honours board and scribbled his name on it. Ravi Bopara could have played flawlessly for
Continue readingAdvice for Fidel Edwards
< 1 minute readMaybe just bowl at the stumps, eh? Surely by now you’ve realised that your team mates have tiny, rigid, Lego man hands with unbending fingers that can’t catch cricket balls. Give it up. They’re only going to let you down. Fidel Edwards took 4-53 today and could quite realistically have
Continue readingPaul Horton masters one-day cricket
< 1 minute readIn his first 23 one-day innings, Paul Horton passed 50 once. Now he’s got the format cracked. Take that The Friends Provident Trophy! Consider yourself and any other 50-over competitions CRACKED. It seems like only last week we were writing about Paul Horton’s first one-day hundred and now here we
Continue readingIan Bell finds something amusing in the field
< 1 minute readThat’s the caption to this picture on Cricinfo. We’d rather this were a slip from a Cricinfo staff member, but we suspect it was done knowingly. Thanks to Sam for pointing this out, although we’re increasingly concerned by the frequency with which he sends Ian Bell pictures to us.
Continue readingRob Key – England opening batsman
< 1 minute readJust imagine the match announcer saying: “Opening the batting for England: Robert Key and someone else.” Because that’s what they’d say. They wouldn’t name the second batsman, because there would be NO POINT. The announcer has already given you all the information you could ever need: It’s England and it’s
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