< 1 minute readRicky Ponting always reminds us of the spoilt youngest daughter in a story about an upper class family set in the Fifties. She’s short, ridiculously spoilt and on the rare occasions she doesn’t get her way, she shrieks and shrieks and her facial expression becomes unavoidably punchable. One of the
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Australia batting collapse and other good things
< 1 minute readThis morning, we said that England’s 425 wasn’t a good score against these Australian bowlers. We stand by that, but somewhat gleefully concede that it isn’t as bad a score as 156-8. With this and Steve Harmison taking 6-20 in the county championship, could things get any better? Rob Key’s
Continue readingAustralia’s bowlers aren’t flattered by comparisons with the past
< 1 minute readLargely because they’re a bit toss. 425 ain’t good enough and England haven’t knackered out Australia’s four bowlers as much as they should have done. Mitchell Johnson Mitchell Johnson or James Anderson? Easy. Johnson has promised a lot, but unless you love non-bouncing wides, he hasn’t really delivered. We love
Continue readingShane Warne’s head
< 1 minute readShane Warne’s head has long been round and red, but it seems to be getting ever more inflated and ever more vivid in colour. It looks like a spacehopper.
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff advert
< 1 minute readAs in, it’s the advert featuring Andrew Flintoff, not an advert for Andrew Flintoff. Fred pretty much markets himself. They’re selling off the pedalo for charity as well. We’ve always wanted to own a famous pedalo.
Continue readingWhy has Andrew Flintoff retired from Test cricket?
< 1 minute readHave you seen the size of him and the way he bowls? It’s because of that. Andrew Flintoff’s body can get through 30-odd overs in a Test match as easily as it can get through the eye of a needle. We imagine that if you’re Andrew Flintoff, the impact on
Continue readingPakistan batting collapse shows they’re still the ultimate
< 1 minute readPeople in the British media sometimes complain about England being inconsistent, but when it comes to inconsistency, there’s only one side worth talking about. There’s only ever been one team worth talking about. Having gone from dreadful and seemingly a bit apathetic to World Twenty20 champions in under a fortnight,
Continue readingEngland’s batting collapse in the first Test in Cardiff
< 1 minute readEngland’s second innings top order batting collapse was pretty piss-poor, but it was just as big a crime to get themselves into that position in the first place. Neither set of bowlers were exceptional in the first Test. The exceptional performance came from Australia’s batsmen, who were sublime. There was
Continue readingMomentum has raised its meaningless head
< 1 minute readIf cricketers’ use of the word ‘momentum’ were given physical form, we’d like to meet it. Even if it were an innocent-looking child holding a balloon, we’d still have no qualms about punching it square in the face with all our might. We’d watch the balloon floating skywards and think
Continue readingClose Ashes finishes (and why a draw after five days can be exciting)
< 1 minute readWe’ve reached a conclusion. We’re all dead. That’s right. Each and every one of us is dead. But we’ve not gone to heaven. Instead, we’re all stuck in purgatory working off our sins. It’s an Ashes purgatory of inevitable, unendurable tension where Tests are still in the balance right up
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