< 1 minute readSam writes: As the third day of the final test in Sydney began I drifted off to sleep, the dulcet tones of Simon Mann hastening my journey along the winding road to slumbertown. An hour or so later I awoke to the news that Alastair Cook was out for 99,
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When Shane Watson hit 161 not out in a one-day match against England
< 1 minute readWe’ll be honest. We didn’t see a single ball of this match. We were drinking Belgian beers and playing Goldeneye when it began and we were getting over that experience when it ended. On balance, we made the right choice. Seven one-day internationals between Australia and England a couple of
Continue readingEngland are so bad we just threw up
< 1 minute readWe’re not sure we’ve ever seen an England side as bad as this. The top order keep throwing their wickets away. The bowling lacks pace and guile. There’s no plan. No cohesion. Midway through England’s innings we actually threw up due to acute dissatisfaction. We now feel completely irritated. COMPLETELY
Continue readingPaul Collingwood – an England professional
3 minute readThe days of Gentlemen and Players are long gone, but Paul Collingwood would have been the latter – a man who never lost sight of the fact that it was all about scoring runs; taking wickets and catches; and occasionally missing the ball often enough that your team salvaged a
Continue readingMatthew Hayden Ashes reaction
< 1 minute readEven now, people often ask us to write about Matthew Hayden. We never do. Partly it’s that Hayden has retired and is therefore no longer ‘a target’. Mostly it’s just that we don’t like doing what people ask us to do. With that in mind, we’d like to emphasise that
Continue readingShane Watson v England
< 1 minute readAustralia might have had a better chance in the first Twenty20 international if 10 of them hadn’t been shit. The 11th player, Shane Watson, has suddenly found a world where hitting fifties and bowling straight medium-pace is quite handy. If he’d have found a competent team mate, Australia would have
Continue readingEngland’s Test selectors got everything right
2 minute readIt’s not cool to say that. But we’re not cool. We once did a live Twitter review of a cricket computer game while drinking real ale. On the face of it, picking a Test side is simply a matter of finding your 11 best players and then saying their names
Continue readingA quick pause from the gloating
< 1 minute readThe site won’t be much fun for Aussies for almost the whole of next week, but we thought we’d break up the gloating with a couple of other pieces. Remember when we got a bit carried away when Andrew Flintoff retired and wrote not one, but two retirement pieces about
Continue readingAnother reason why Australia lost the Ashes
< 1 minute readBeer sales are down. Moisturiser sales are through the roof. The metrosexualisation of Australian society has damaged the cricket team immeasurably. No-one eats steak any more; they all eat scallops in an Indonesian-style jus. When Simon Katich isn’t in Sydney, male body hair in the city is down by a
Continue readingWhen the England cricket team became ruthless
< 1 minute readWe’ve always asked that England become more ruthless. Now it seems to be happening and by the jackal head of Anubis it’s a good feeling. England have been good before, but in continually passing 500 and repeatedly recording innings victories over the course of the 2010-11 Ashes, they’ve added something
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