2 minute read“We don’t want to say he’s going to be the next Botham, or the next Flintoff,” said Trevor Bayliss. England’s coach then veered away from an already painfully familiar statement somewhat by adding: “He’ll be the next Ben Stokes” – as if we’ve had one already. Every time anyone says
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Did England just win the 2015 Ashes?
< 1 minute readThey completely did. They fully did. What do you make of that? And as a bonus talking point, Michael Clarke seems likely to retire at the end of the series. We presume he’s only waiting that long lest Steven Smith feel the pressure to follow suit immediately after leading the
Continue readingDavid Warner’s short-armed jab
2 minute readNot the one from Walkabout, but the weird, pathetic quasi-pull shot he plays when he gets a short ball with two men on the fence. The one that’s twice cost him his wicket in this series and which near enough got him out on the two or three other occasions
Continue readingA homogenous batting line-up with the same strengths and weaknesses
3 minute readThis is the closest representation of Australia’s innings we can find. But why? Why would men whose job it is to bat – and who have been selected because they are supposedly the best at that task – repeatedly try and edge balls that weren’t going on to hit the
Continue readingStuart Broad tears Australia a new one
< 1 minute readEarly wickets are always key and with his 19th delivery, Stuart Broad struck. Of course he already had four wickets by that point and it didn’t take him too much longer to pick up another three. Was it a rain delay? Were these actually just highlights? No, because rain delays
Continue readingBread in the toaster, kettle on and OH DEAR LORD NO!
2 minute readYou can run out of some foods without too much of a problem. You can always use a different kind of vinegar. You can make that marinade without oregano. Chilli con carne without kidney beans is perfectly acceptable. On the other hand, playing a Test match without James Anderon is
Continue readingThe latest Ian Bell update has been released and it’s full of bugs and new features
< 1 minute readWe’re way past Ian Bell 2.0. Being as he’s 33 and batting at three, we’re going to call this incarnation Ian Bell 33.3. Hopefully that won’t prove to be its batting average. Most of the previous Ian Bells have looked solid only to get out in infuriating fashion when you
Continue readingMitchell Johnson rocks England, Steven Finn rolls Australia
2 minute readOnce again, Mitchell Johnson rocked England. He took 2-66. (Wickets taken via bouncers count double, it seems.) After that, it was back to England dismissing clueless Australian batsmen, which was really rather delightful. This Test has brought back memories of the magical folding Australia side of a few years ago.
Continue readingJames Anderson dismisses Australia’s motley crew
2 minute readWe’re playing squash tonight. One thing you notice with squash is that the ball’s momentum doesn’t always carry it in the same direction. Quite often it alters course quite markedly upon contact with what is known as ‘the wall’. The momentum in this Ashes series is similar, it would seem.
Continue readingThe mythology of Johnson
2 minute readThat sounds a little like a crude and edgy, deliberately controversial Off-Broadway show. But it isn’t. It’s a reference to the eldest Mitchell; the man who apparently compels English batsmen to dash their own brains out in fear. Mitchell Johnson is currently the man with the fifth-best bowling average and
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