2 minute read It’s a reference to a headline pun that’s overused on this website but which isn’t itself a pun. Jokes don’t come much weaker than that. Except for all our other ones. Is Gary Ballance back? Sport is brutally cold and England won’t go into the first Test of the summer
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James Taylor has a literal heart problem
2 minute read If James Taylor’s public pronouncements betray an admirable desire to retain a sense of humour about things, his retirement from cricket at the age of just 26 due to arrhythmogenic right ventricular arrhythmia is anything but funny. It’s easy to point to his having had a job as a professional
Continue readingEveryone knows that hitting four successive sixes is hard, right?
2 minute read We’re just checking, only a great many people seem to be holding Ben Stokes entirely responsible for England’s defeat. Sometimes the player hitting the sixes has some sort of say in things too. Think of it like this: if you were a primitive human and you sent one of your
Continue readingWest Indies’ 2016 World T20 win: Fortunately for them, they weren’t playing cyborgs
2 minute read Ben Stokes’ coolly outmanoevred Carlos Brathwaite at the death. Had the West Indian launched his attack earlier in the match, he could have hit six sixes in an over. As it was, he was denied by winning the World T20 after just four balls. Stokes is doubtless delighted. The desired
Continue readingEight things to bear in mind ahead of the World T20 final between England and the West Indies
2 minute read You can call it a preview if you want, but it’s more of a disorderly fact-dump. 1. Windies’ spinners don’t go for owt Samuel Badree conceded 5.68 runs an over in this tournament. Sulieman Benn’s conceded 5.78. Hell, even Chris Gayle’s banged out three overs for 17 and we thought
Continue readingIf we start calling Jason Roy a ‘roybot’ do you think it’ll catch on?
< 1 minute read Chris Jordan and Ben Stokes were the actual heroes for England, but this is Twenty20, so like everyone else, let’s instead turn our attention to Jason Roy – a batsman. Roy used both edges of his bat and quite often the middle. Crucially, he also abandoned the moronic belief that
Continue readingEoin Morgan and Kane Williamson are having a cricket
2 minute read We find ourself humming Roscoe H Spellgood rather a lot at the minute. This is because of the sheer number of match previews saying that England have come a long way in a short time. It strikes us that if you go to the trouble of being as bad as
Continue readingEngland v Sri lanka post-match analysis
< 1 minute read England are through (to the next round). Sri Lanka are through (as a short format side).
Continue readingEngland v Sri Lanka World T20 in-depth preview
< 1 minute read If England win, they go through. If Sri Lanka win, they or South Africa will go through.
Continue readingGreene King IPA mixed with Foster’s to be the official ‘golden’ of England cricket
< 1 minute read The ECB has announced that bland-tasting pish, Foster’s, is to become the official lager of England cricket. Interestingly, England cricket already has an official beer, which is Greene King IPA, so you can now go to the pub and get a pint of golden while remaining entirely ‘brand loyal’. Or
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