England | King Cricket

August 9, 2020 England

Buttler, Bairstow and Foakes – England’s embarrassment of adequacy

3 minute read “I’m putting a team together for a job.” “You son of a bitch. I’m in.” In heist movies, whenever they put a team together, everyone’s always the best of the best; the best there’s ever been. You never make do with members of your heist team. You never settle. You

Please tell us the secret of managing the very difficult emotions that arise when watching the Pakistan bowling attack against England

3 minute read It’s probably Shoaib Akhtar’s fault. It started with Wasim Akram, obviously. He was the one who first presented us with this idea that the current score might not necessarily be the real score. The scorecard in an early Nineties Lancashire match required a coda. ‘This many runs for this many

August 4, 2020 England / Pakistan / Uncategorized

An England v Pakistan Test series “precap” (with preamble)

4 minute read We were going to do a recap of the England v Ireland one-dayers, but they haven’t actually finished yet. So instead we thought we’d switch focus and do a ‘precap’ of the Pakistan series. We thought we were being wilfully annoying by using a made-up word like ‘precap’ when we

July 31, 2020 England / Ireland

David Willey is out of step with the world

< 1 minute read Two examples which highlight how unutterably dreadful David Willey’s timing is. Example one. In March 2019, Sky Sports commentator Ian Ward delivered the definitive expression of incredulity when David Willey opened the bowling against the West Indies in an Alice band. (You may have seen it.) In July 2020, almost

July 28, 2020 England

Is Stuart Broad the most annoying cricketer there’s ever been?

4 minute read There are two types of people in this world. There are annoying people and then there are people who pride themselves on being annoying. That’s it. Those are all the options. Everyone is annoying. Probably the most annoying person ever is Ben Kingsley’s insanely aggressive character in Sexy Beast, Don

July 25, 2020 England

In praise of the Stuart Broad hook shot

2 minute read There are great batsmen and there are great shots. Then there is the greatest batsman of all (Stuart Broad) and his greatest shot of all (the hook). At this point in his career, Broad’s batting is all but flawless. Measured in conventional terms, it is of course massively flawed –

July 24, 2020 England / West Indies

Five ways Rahkeem Cornwall is like a cat

2 minute read Six-foot-six and a hundred tons, Rahkeem Cornwall is a cricketer who’s hard to ignore. We do not plan on ignoring him. This is how he’s like a cat. (1) Conserves energy wherever possible Never run if you can walk. Never walk if you can stroll. Never stroll if you can

July 23, 2020 England

Which England pace bowler will throw the biggest strop if he isn’t picked for the Third Test?

4 minute read The ‘nice problem to have’ cliché klaxon is ringing out deafeningly this week. England need to take two full seam attacks and turn them into one. Three of the six pace bowlers to have appeared in this series so far will be selected for the third Test and three of

July 22, 2020 England / Features

Let’s rate the ‘serious face’ of every England player in the trailer for The Edge

4 minute read Here’s a trailer for The Edge, that documentary about the England team that got to number one in the world and then fell apart. We had ten questions about an earlier trailer, but this second one really ramped up the seriousness. NO ENGLAND TEAM FELL HARDER says one of the

July 21, 2020 England / West Indies

Two cricketers in one? Let’s count how many cricketers Ben Stokes was in this Test alone (and then let’s name them)

3 minute read People often say that Ben Stokes is two cricketers in one. This seems very disrespectful. If you’ve never seen or read Altered Carbon, the story is set in a future where people can transfer their consciousnesses into different bodies or ‘sleeves’. The technology was originally devised so that people could