< 1 minute read We heard that England were playing Australia yesterday, but we didn’t pay any attention. We’re not going to bother checking, but it’s pretty safe to assume that England won handsomely. Comments to the contrary will be vigorously deleted. Yes, you can delete something ‘vigorously’ – but only when that something
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Kevin Pietersen shows the Aussies how it’s done
< 1 minute read ‘It’ being ‘scoring runs against Zimbabwe’. Despite forgetting that he was right-handed for much of his innings, everyone’s most/least favourite bludgeoner hit 79 off 37 balls after England had lost a few early wickets. England also won by quite a margin, opening up the possibility that they could knock Australia
Continue readingKevin Pietersen with some bird on his arm
< 1 minute read Ho ho ho. It’s an actual bird. We weren’t really referring to a woman as a bird because that would be demeaning. We were just alluding to that usage – which is of course perfectly acceptable. Worst post ever. Good job there’s absolutely no chance of our ever making this
Continue readingA one-day series that was actually good comes to an end
< 1 minute read England and India drew their seven match one-day series after the final match at Lord’s ended in a tie. India batted first, Sachin Tendulkar scoring every single one of their 92 runs. In reply, England fell to 0-9 until Jimmy Anderson spirited up an unbelievable rearguard action scoring 92 by
Continue readingRobin Uthappa totally unarsed by insane amount of pressure
< 1 minute read What is it with ridiculously young Indian batsmen? They just think they can come over here and chase down 300 plus one-day scores without so much as a hint of knock-kneed panic or paralysing defeatism. Yuvraj Singh and Mohammad Kaif are prime examples and yesterday Robin Uthappa, 21, shrugged his
Continue readingLuke Wright’s debut
< 1 minute read We were moaning about Matt Prior as opener the other day. When Luke Wright was called up to the England squad, it opened up the possibility of his opening up some possibilities through opening… up. He didn’t and Matt Prior scored six, so Wright didn’t do his opening ambitions any
Continue readingDarren Gough’s sinister offer
< 1 minute read It’s a shoe. We’re not scared of a shoe, Darren. There’s nothing wrong with having a shoe. It’s not like you’re trying to get us hooked on class A drugs or something.
Continue readingPaul Collingwood papers over fragile England batting line-up
< 1 minute read Because if you’ve got a fragile batting line-up, paper is the greatest disguise. You can conceal all manner of batting sins through judicious use of paper. England’s batting folded at Old Trafford but they got away with it. It happened at Headingley and they didn’t. Paul Collingwood’s innings of 91
Continue readingJames Anderson cruelly overshadowed
< 1 minute read We have several other points to make about the Old Trafford one-dayer. We didn’t want to overburden you yesterday – our slightly addled hero worship seemed sufficient match analysis for one day. James Anderson bowled really well. Probably better than Stuart Broad. Anderson v Tendulkar is turning into an excellent
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