< 1 minute read Nearly three years on and still they’re arguing about whether England ‘won’ via a Pakistan forfeiture or whether it was ‘match abandoned’. At best it’s splitting hairs. Everyone knows what it was: a balls-up. The match should be officially reclassified as such. Sport is of the moment. Except for a
Continue readingCategory: England
IPL window for England players
2 minute read A group of guys who aren’t you have got an opportunity to earn a lot of money. The situation is that any England players who might actually be wanted by an IPL franchise will play Twenty20 in India for three weeks and then their next match after that will be
Continue readingTests at neutral venues
< 1 minute read Zapp Brannigan says: “What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?” Neutrality sickens us, just as it sickens him. Picturing a neutral crowd at a neutral Test venue sends us into a blind fury at all
Continue readingAndrew Strauss wants cricketers who use their brains for something other than preventing their skulls from caving in
2 minute read We’re not in the habit of paying much heed to public pronouncements from cricketers. You can say what you like. It’s not the same as actually doing something. We could say that we beat Thor at chess yesterday, but it’s transparently a lie. We would never play chess. However, we
Continue readingMonty Panesar’s bowling speed
< 1 minute read People say that Monty Panesar bowls too fast and that he doesn’t adapt. People say that he’s a mindless idiot who hasn’t got the potential to develop his game. He’s not moved on as most England supporters would have liked, but people have been going a bit overboard. There’s nothing
Continue readingWas Kevin Pietersen wrong?
2 minute read It may surprise you to learn that Kevin Pietersen is not actually evil. He may even want England to win some matches. People can at times forget that real life isn’t actually a drama scripted by halfwits. The characters involved aren’t ‘good’ or ‘evil’. Kevin Pietersen polarises people, or at
Continue readingEvery person involved with England cricket is an eight-year-old child
< 1 minute read Turncoat players; fringe squad members ‘leaking’ information; nameless ECB officials also leaking information and accusing players of having oversized egos; not to mention a media solely interested in column inches, badgering anyone and everyone for more information. Fucking stop it. Belt up. Who cares who says and thinks what about
Continue readingAndrew Strauss, England captain
< 1 minute read Throughout history, the British have had a fail-safe method for dealing with times of crisis. They find the most sensible person among their number and they tell them that they’re in charge. A new era has dawned. An era of stoicism. An era of doing the decent thing. An era
Continue readingKevin Pietersen’s resignation
< 1 minute read Kevin Pietersen did not resign this morning. He wants to be very clear on that, okay? He did NOT resign this morning. He resigned this afternoon. From his resignation statement: “Contrary to media speculation today, I wish to make it very clear that I did not resign as captain of
Continue readingKevin Pietersen and Peter Moores resign
< 1 minute read Maybe we don’t need Pakistan cricket after all. We’ve got England for back-stabbing and intrigue now. Officially, Kevin Pietersen and Peter Moores both resigned. Unofficially, well, does it matter what really happened, does it? Those halcyon days of long-term planning under Duncan Fletcher seem longer ago and more valuable by
Continue reading