< 1 minute readComplete this well-known phrase: “You boys stop fighting or someone’s going to get…” The ECB are normally so keen to cotton wool their cricketers that the poor sods can barely take a slash without someone checking they don’t direct the stream into their own eyes, blinding themselves. With that in
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Evil Monty Panesar improves his bowling figures
< 1 minute readNo, Monty! Say it hasn’t come to this. In a desperate bid to advance his case for England inclusion, Monty Panesar has been reduced to tampering with scoreboards. 2-20 sounds so much better than 2-120.
Continue readingMonty Panesar’s back
< 1 minute readAs in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got anklosing spondylitis or anything. We’re frigging delighted about Monty Panesar being in England’s Ashes squad. In a world of cynicism, underperformance and questionable motives, the man who literally jumps for joy at taking a wicket is king.
Continue readingChris Tremlett’s back
< 1 minute readAs in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got anklosing spondylitis or anything. We’re generally in favour. Not because he had a good season in that netherland, the second division of the County Championship, but because when he’s bowled for England, he’s bowled a bit like Andy Caddick and Andy Caddick was mint.
Continue readingDoes Eoin Morgan have a girlfriend?
< 1 minute readA lot of people seem to be searching the internet trying to find out whether Eoin Morgan has a girlfriend or not. We can’t say this is something that’s unduly concerned us. However, using our extraordinary ability to put ourself in someone else’s shoes, we have gained an accurate insight
Continue readingWhat Ryan Sidebottom should do next
< 1 minute readGenerally likeable, weirdly tetchy and a world-beater for an oddly unexpected and brief period of time. We’ll miss Ryan Sidebottom now that he’s retired from international cricket. On the plus side, he’s one step closer to that BRILLIANT sitcom we came up with. We’re open to offers.
Continue readingWhy Andrew Flintoff was a great cricketer
< 1 minute readAndrew Flintoff’s only going to retire the once, so we’ve written about him again. A lot of people have picked apart his career with the recent past at the forefront of their minds, but we’re choosing to look at why he became such a significant figure in the first place.
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff – batsman, bowler, slip fielder, England representative
3 minute readThroughout his career, people talked about Andrew Flintoff being the new Botham. He wasn’t. He was the new Darren Gough. He was England supporters’ representative on the field of play. For the rest of this article, we will be referring to him as Andy Flintoff because that was what he
Continue readingMohammad Irfan conquered by England
< 1 minute readMohammad Irfan is 7ft tall. That makes him a giant. As everyone knows, giants came to our world many millennia ago and have been watching over us ever since, occasionally stepping in when humanity has been in need of help. Sure, Irfan isn’t one of the 19ft tall Moroccan giants
Continue readingCricket in the southern hemisphere
< 1 minute readWe understand why Kevin Pietersen is going to play a couple of matches for Kwa-Zulu Natal, but what the hell is he blathering about? “These two matches would enable me to work on my game against the Kookaburra ball in southern hemisphere conditions, which is the ideal preparation for Australia.”
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